RELATIONSHIP GOD'S WAY

PARENTING IS PARTNERSHIP

Mon, 28 Oct 2024 16:11:38 GMT

PARENTING IS PARTNERSHIP

Sometime ago, I was at a gathering where I saw a mother struggling to keep her baby quiet.
She got up, left her husband, put her baby in the stroller and wheeled him outside to settle him

She got back after some minutes but the baby was still not settled; got up again and left while her husband continued sitting unperturbed.

This mum finally came back with her baby asleep in her arms. She got to her seat and found the baby bag and feeding bottle on it. She then struggled to put them on the floor while making sure the baby in her arms remained steady and asleep.
Her husband who sat next to her seat just continued paying attention to the speaker, completely oblivious to all that was going on!

As I watched them from a distance, I felt sorry for her and also felt like giving the man a piece of my mind. I mean, "Can't you see that your wife is struggling? Can't you even help her? Isn't the child yours too?"
I was so pained like I was the one struggling.

I thought to myself, if she was having to go through this outside, I wonder her struggles at home! She carried the boy until the programme was over and I saw her still pushing the empty stroller out with the boy in her arms while the man of the house walked majestically ahead of her. I had to pinch myself to calm down!

Why am I sharing this?

Dear Men,

Looking after a child is not the woman's responsibility only, it is also your responsibility! No woman came from Heaven with a manual teaching her how to look after a child! In fact, some of us were as clueless as yourselves but we had to learn!

Caring for a child can be very overwhelming and emotionally draining especially if you live in the Western World where there's hardly anyone to help! It is important that you are actively involved in babysitting, feeding, changing diapers, bathing the baby etc! Give your wife a break!

Please see to it that you change, see to it that you assist in looking after your baby, it will give your wife so much joy and you would witness your marriage enter a whole new beautiful level!
Just ask your wife how you can help, I'm sure she would willingly show and teach you how. It is not too late to start!

PS. If you are still single, start learning how to care for a baby, your wife will bless you.

Lots of love,
Dr. Blessing Ekundayo

LOOKING BEYOND THE PRESENT

Mon, 30 Sep 2024 06:14:58 GMT

Looking Beyond The Present

When my husband and I were planning our wedding, I really desired a honeymoon trip to a really nice resort.

As a single lady, I had fantasised about some dream destinations but the reality before me was that neither I nor my husband could afford it. I wasn’t happy about our situation but one thing my husband promised me was that when we mark our 10 years wedding anniversary, he would take me to Singapore and show me around as he had lived there before. This statement gave me hope, something to look forward too.

Fast forward to 10 years later, he fulfilled his promise and didn’t only take me to Singapore �� but also to my dream destination Maldives ��! We had a swell time and made memories there.

Why have I shared this?

Ladies, if you turn down a man’s proposal just because of his limited finances at the moment, you might be making a big mistake. Don’t focus so much on a man’s physical worth that you lose sight of his potential worth in the long run. Focus more on whether he has the ability and capacity to make your dreams come true.

If he loves you, loves God, willing to see you become all that you want to be while he also works on becoming a better version of himself, such a man is a keeper! It’s just a matter of time, he would take you round the world. Do not despise the days of humble beginning.

I hope this helps someone.

OVERCOMING LOW SELF ESTEEM AND BODY SHAMING

Mon, 09 Sep 2024 07:00:00 GMT

Overcoming Low Self Esteem and Bodyshaming

Growing up as a dark-skinned girl, I got teased with all sorts of nicknames because of my complexion. It felt like girls who were light-skinned were the ones people considered as beautiful while those of us that were ‘black’ in color were the ugly ones.

In fact, I was also very skinny and that made me feel even more insecure in my body and resulted in a negative body image.

I recently had the opportunity to be a keynote speaker where I addressed the topic: Beauty and Body Image and its Impact on Mental Health. I shared my own story in detail and how I overcame my struggles as a young lady.

Today, I am still dark skinned but I love myself so much for it! Find out how I discovered my true beauty and overcame low self esteem and body shaming.

Head over to my YouTube channel to know more - Relationship and Health Matters with Dudushewa.

I hope this helps

CONNECT TO CORRECT

Mon, 02 Sep 2024 07:00:00 GMT

Connect to Correct

I was having my weekly heart-to-heart session with one of my sons today. This session is usually a time for honest conversation between us, it is a no-judgment session. He is free to say what he thinks and ask any question on his mind without filter!

I have gotten told some really harsh truths during some of our conversations which have made hubby and I reflect on our parenting style. It is a time where I also ensure to connect and bond with him.
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Anyway, today, he asked me this question:
“How does a woman get pregnant?” and as I began providing him with some explanation, he went on to ask even deeper questions -

“Why do people get married?”
“Is it a sin if someone doesn’t marry?”
“If someone divorces, is it okay to marry again?”

Gosh! I was amazed by all his questions but I depended on the Holy Spirit to help me simplify things while trying to understand the reason behind his questions ��.
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Why have I shared this?

Children have many questions on their curious mind and if we are not fully present in their lives as parents to provide them with the right answers, they would likely get the wrong answers from friends, internet and other sources of information.

My encouragement to parents and those who intend to be parents is to ensure that you dedicate time to connect with your children. The connection builds friendship and trust. It goes a long way to provide that emotional security for your kids. This is also one sure way to change any behaviour in them you don’t like - Connect to Correct ��.

I hope this helps someone

LEADING BY EXAMPLE

Mon, 12 Aug 2024 07:00:01 GMT

Leading By Example

I was with my son the other day and knelt in front of him while I recorded him for a content he was doing for his page.

When I finished, I put my hand on my forehead and sqeezed my face. Immediately, my son noticed and asked, ‘Mummy are you okay?’ I told him that I was having a headache and the next thing he did shocked me. He placed his hand on my head and said ‘Mummy let me pray for you’.

Still on my knees, I agreed and he prayed for me. I was healed!

As I reflected on what had happened, I realised that any time our sons have any issues at all with their health, the first thing my husband and I do is to lay our hands on them and pray for them. This was exactly what he did based on what he has seen us do.

Why have I shared this?

Our children are watching us, they are modelling what we do either consciously or unconsciously. So, don’t just tell them to do good things and be of good behaviour, make sure as a parent, your life also exemplifies the behaviour you want to see in them.

I hope this helps someone.

APPRECIATE THE LITTLE POSITIVES

Mon, 05 Aug 2024 10:56:32 GMT

APPRECIATE THE LITTLE POSITIVES

So, I shared a video a few days ago that went viral!

It was a video about New Zealand and how amazing this country is. Some Kiwis couldn’t stop talking about how much they disagree with some of the things said in the video. In fact, even though snakes are very rare here, some said that we have lots in the parliament! Hmmm!

Okay, let’s get this straight, no country is perfect and you would only appreciate what you have when you go to other countries and experience how they live.

I have had the privilege of living in two major countries and I have had the opportunity to visit other developed countries including Singapore and Australia and dare I say that New Zealand stands out beautifully.

Guess what? This is exactly how marriage is sometimes. We think the grass is greener on the other side and feel that our spouse is not good enough and focus so much on the spouse’s weaknesses that we see no good thing in that spouse or the marriage.

While other people are wishing they were in your shoes with that spouse, you want out of the marriage because you think other people have it better… if only you knew what they also are going through.

At the end of the day, you may not truly appreciate that spouse you have until you lose them! Getting married to someone else also doesn’t guarantee a better marriage.

Whichever country you find yourself in, be grateful and maximise your potentials there. If you have to relocate, be sure it is where God wants you to be so that what happened to Elimelech (in the Bible - the husband of Naomi who lost everything including his life and his sons due to relocation) doesn’t happen to you.

If you are married, appreciate the little positives your spouse has and focus on it because what you focus expands.

I hope this helps you.

Regards

Dr. Blessing Ekundayo

DON'T IGNORE ANY EVIL PATTERN

Wed, 31 Jul 2024 09:41:58 GMT

Don't Ignore Any Evil Pattern

When you notice a generational pattern in your family, for example, you were given birth to outside of wedlock, your sibling has also given birth outside wedlock… be very careful! Don’t ignore this because you too might continue in that pattern.

If your parents are divorced and those in their family are also divorced, if care is not taken, you are also going to get divorced.

Be intentional about breaking generational curses. Be intentional about seeking wise counsel, be intentional about the kind of person you choose to go into a relationship with. Don’t fall in love blindly. Most importantly, be intentional about living a life led by the Spirit.

Say to yourself: My life will defy every generational curse or pattern and bring glory to God.

You will marry right in Jesus' name.

YOU TOO WOULD SHINE

Mon, 29 Jul 2024 10:48:41 GMT

You Too Would Shine

I visited Nigeria a while ago, and as I began packing my bags to return to New Zealand, I realised that I had gotten lots of gifts that were beyond the weight I was entitled to carry on the plane.

As I complained to my husband about it, we decided I should pay for extra luggage. It was past 10pm and I was to leave home the following morning at 6:45 in order to catch my flight, I couldn’t purchase a luggage at that time. Fortunately, my brother was around, so I asked if he had a luggage I could carry with me. He told me he did but it was a very dusty one. For me, that was great news, I didn’t mind because I desperately needed a luggage to carry my stuffs.

When he came back with it, I teased him saying that his luggage was going to New Zealand before him. In that moment, I realised that this is exactly how some people’s lives are - useful, yet unseen and seemingly abandoned! However, when necessity meets opportunity, like a dream their lives change overnight! They become the one desperately needed for that job, position, etc because they meet the criteria.

Why have I shared this? Even though your life may look to others around you like you could never amount to anything! They may even have looked down on at you because of your lack of progress despite your abilities.

It is my prayer that just like my brother’s luggage came out from dust to glory, you too would shine! Your life will no longer be obscured, you would be sort after in Jesus name. Amen.

Don’t give up, your time will come and it will come BIG with a BANG!

MARRY A SECURED MAN

Tue, 23 Jul 2024 09:15:28 GMT

Marry A Secured Man

Many wives, especially pastors’ wives live in the shadows of their husbands.

Many desire to do more and be more but have been caged and are frustrated because they have married men who believe that they are only meant to show up and speak only when given the opportunity or permission to do so or within the four confines of their local church. Some women are even in ministries where they are prohibited from fulfilling God’s purpose for their lives because of some doctrines stipulated by men…. Hmmm!

Single ladies, before you get married, be sure that you marry a man (even if he is a man of God) who is not insecure about your amazing potentials, purpose and dreams. Make sure the man is comfortable to see you rise and soar even if you would be greater than him, he would still fan you to flame! This is the kind of man that you should marry, not the man who is already intimidated just because you shared a great idea or vision with him. Marriage is team work and both husband and wife are to work together to ensure both fulfil their potential. This is how we can truly have the dominion God commanded.

There is a lot that God has equipped every woman with and marriage should amplify it not diminish them. The church should encourage it not discourage it.

As a man, if you feel that letting a woman rise would make her disrespect or dishonour you, then you shouldn’t marry that woman in the first place, you might be better off marrying someone who has no dream or better off alone.

May God grant us all understanding ��.

BE INTENTIONAL WITH YOUR KIDS

Tue, 04 Jun 2024 21:24:33 GMT

Be intentional with your kids

n 2015, I was watching Britain’s Got Talent (BGT) and one of the contestants was a six year old girl who had come to perform magic.

As she did it, she got everyone glued and I was in awe! She performed it effortlessly and brilliantly to the point everyone in the audience, including the judges gave her a standing ovation. She was excellent!

If you watch BGT, you will know Simon - one of the judges. He asked her how she was able to perform such outstanding magic at such a tender age. The girl’s answer changed my perspective about parenting forever! She said that her grandmother had been teaching her how to perform magic since the age of two!

After hearing that, I said to myself ‘If a two year old can start learning magic, then I will start teaching my babies the word of God once they turn two’.

The result of this has been amazing!

This is one of the secrets to how my husband and I raise our boys intentionally.

See, we are not perfect parents, neither are our children perfect; however we keep learning on this journey of parenting.

Regards

Dr. Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator & Mental Health Practitioner

BEFORE YOU RELOCATE...

Wed, 22 May 2024 11:32:53 GMT

BEFORE YOU RELOCATE

Five years ago we became citizens of this beautiful country, New Zealand!

The joy of being able to travel to 190 countries visa free!
The confidence of possessing the 5th strongest passport in the world!
The relief from applying for visa renewal!

Finally! We can indeed say we are Kiwis! ��

New Zealand wasn’t a country I had heard of, but when my fiancé told me 15 years ago that he was going to pursue his PhD there, I began to do my research about it, I knew it was going to be home for us and I was excited. Seeing that become a reality blows my mind all the time!

It wasn’t easy for me adjusting to be honest. Migrating to another country is one of the most challenging things you can face in life especially when you hit rock bottom even from the start! Yes, I suffered depression in this country! However, today, my story is different. I can say confidently that I’m blessed to be here! ��

I have a lot to share with you about my journey in New Zealand. I have recorded two videos that explain my New Zealand experience and testimony. Watch out for them on my YouTube channel - Relationship and Health Matters with Dudushewa.

For those of you who are currently struggling abroad and feeling like nothing is working, hang in there. Things might get worse before they become better.

For those of you praying and hoping to japa, may your dreams come true ��.

Relocating abroad is great but most importantly, make sure it is where God wants you to be, because only then can you flourish!

Before making the move, take time to seek God's guidance and wisdom. Ask for clarity on His purpose for your life and whether this relocation is part of His plan. When you surrender to His will, you open yourself up to His blessings and protection.

You'll experience a sense of peace, purpose, and direction, even amid challenges. Your roots will grow deep, and you'll bear fruit that honors Him.

So, as you consider relocating abroad, remember to prioritize God's leading.

I hope this helps.

LOVE ALWAYS WINS

Wed, 22 May 2024 11:10:06 GMT

LOVE ALWAYS WINS

Not quite long, I attended a five-day Strategic Parenting Summit. One thing most of the speakers mention is that our kids want to feel heard, seen and understood.

They’ve also emphasised the need to connect with our children by spending quality time with them.

In fact, one speaker said ‘The quality of your relationship with your child determines the quality of their mental health’. Wow!

So, I took action immediately and decided to begin spending more time with my kids twice a week where they both ask me whatever question, tell me anything on their mind and I end by sharing a Bible story with them and we all draw out lessons from it.

One night, one of them asked: ‘Mummy, before you met daddy, did you have a crush?’. Ah! I didn’t see that question coming but I answered them honestly with a ‘yes!’ and they were shocked as they laughed away ��.

They wanted to know more about my crush, interestingly, I was also about their age at that time too. It was an opportunity to tell them more about what a crush is and how to handle it. I also got to know more about a girl crushing on my boy ��.

I really desire my boys to be open and vulnerable with me. No judgment from me at such times just love, fun and guidance.

It is only the first time and they are pleading with me to do it everyday. As much as I want to say yes, I also want to be consistent with no excuses, hence twice a week but we’ll see ��. I love the vibe from this already!

I would like to encourage you to love on your children by creating time out of your busy schedule for them. That ‘difficult child’ would be easier to relate with because love always wins!

I hope this helps.

Let me know ❤️

UNMATCHED PEACE

Sun, 12 May 2024 05:37:27 GMT

UNMATCHED PEACE

Being a citizen of New Zealand is something I wake up every day, and I’m grateful for. New Zealand is not like any other country of the world, this country is exceptional! I can say this because I’ve lived in a country where it was tough to just live a normal life even as a citizen.

As a citizen, I’ve got access to first-class healthcare care, and the unbelievable part of this is that it is free! I’ve had surgeries here and didn’t have to pay a single cent!

My children go to good schools, and education is free! Not only that, but they get free lunch at school, too! Wow!

I’m on the road at midnight, driving without worrying about armed robbers!

Emergency lines actually work! I’ve used it a couple of times to save the lives of members of the public.

I could go on and on…

Being a New Zealand citizen, however, is nothing compared to being a citizen of Heaven.

Yes! I can tell you this because I am one. The blessings that come with accepting Jesus into your life as your Lord and Saviour is out of this world!

You enjoy so much peace even in this chaotic world, you have joy when others are sad, you enjoy good health and healing that money cannot buy, you understand your purpose for being here, you have insight into things that ordinary people do not have…. All of these and more because you are a child of God, a citizen of Heaven.

This is what Jesus came to give us, a direct relationship with God, we no longer have to burn incense, worship objects or men to have access to Him. This is what Easter really is all about, the death and resurrection of Jesus to forgive us from all the wrongs we’ve ever done and to give us the power not to sin again. Ultimately, to secure our life after death.

Yes, there is life after death. What’s the point of any enjoyment you have on earth and end up suffering after you leave this earth? Or why suffer here and suffer again after death?

Becoming a New Zealand citizen took me six years; becoming a citizen of Heaven will take you only a few seconds as long as you are genuine about it.

Say this prayer:
Heavenly Father, I thank you for sending Jesus to die for me. I am sorry for my sins and I believe that I need Jesus to save me from my sins. I accept Jesus as the Lord and Saviour of my life. I choose to live and serve Jesus all the days of my life. In Jesus name, I pray, Amen.

If you said this prayer genuinely, congratulations! You are now a citizen of Heaven. I want to walk this journey with you.

Email: gracefultracts@gmail.com and I will be in touch.

I love you ❤️❤️

DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAM

Mon, 06 May 2024 23:51:06 GMT

DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAM

Some years ago when I wrote JAMB, I scored 222. I was devastated! I knew it was impossible for me to get into my dream course Medicine with such a score.

I was more upset with myself for letting down my mother who had spent a lot of money on JAMB lessons with nothing to show for it.

However, one thing I remember was my mother did not give up on me, she never showed her disappointment even though I believe she must have been gutted.
Instead, she thought about how to help me achieve my dream. Next thing I knew, she had enrolled me into Cambridge A levels! Thank God I passed that one and got into Medicine eventually after two years!

Today, all of it is history!

Why have I shared this?

Never give up on your dream just because you failed. That failure does not define you! Instead, let your dream inspire you to get up and try again.

There is always a way out! Failure is just a bend, it is not the end. Find a way to make your dreams come true, don’t settle for a lesser course or a lesser career! Information is powerful!
When you fail, speak up and speak out! Ask for help and you are likely to get pointed in the right direction.

The end is always beautiful. Today, I am practising as a doctor in New Zealand but the journey has not been easy as I’ve encountered even more failures!

I just wanted to encourage someone going through a hard time, you will come out stronger! God is with you, He is for you .

This too shall pass!

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator & Mental Health Practitioner

LOVE IS INTENTIONAL

Sat, 04 May 2024 15:06:35 GMT

LOVE IS INTENTIONAL

It was a very busy day at the Emergency Department. I was already feeling exhausted and looking forward to going home.

As I typed my notes after reviewing another patient, one of my colleagues said, ‘Blessing, there’s a parcel for you, is today your birthday?’ I said no.

Then she asked again ‘your anniversary’? I said no.

Then she asked in surprise, ‘who got you a gift’?

Me: A gift?

She brought the gift to me.

This was five years ago, my husband and I were in a long-distance marriage at that time and we lived about 8 hours drive from each other. Even though we spoke everyday, we hadn’t exchanged any gifts.

However, as I opened up the gift, I immediately knew who it was from. It was from my husband! How sweet and thoughtful! I was immediately filled with smiles and my colleagues couldn’t stop talking about how romantic his gesture was .

I was no longer tired and was all smiles till the end of my shift!

Till this very moment, that’s one memory I would never forget in a hurry.

Love is beautiful and when we are intentional about showing love to those we love it goes a long way, especially in marriage.

Shout out to the best husband in the world.I love you!

Dear friend, please go out of your way to show love to those you love today.

Regards

Dr. Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator & Mental Health Practitioner

WISDOM FOR YOUR MARRIAGE

Mon, 27 Nov 2023 12:51:07 GMT

WISDOM FOR YOUR MARRIAGE

I used to have issues with my husband not accepting my advice. I mean, when it was clear that my advice was great.

I would then become angry when he refused to go with it and do it his way instead when clearly my idea was the better one for us.

I later realised my approach and attitude were wrong.

Over the years, I’ve learnt that whenever I have ideas or advice or ways I prefer him to do something - I bring it to him as a suggestion.

More importantly, acknowledge his ideas to start with (he taught me this).

For example ‘Babe, I see what you are trying to do with that plan, I think it’s a brilliant idea, so proud of you! I was just thinking to suggest xyz, maybe it would work too? Well done Darling’.

This works most of the time and he takes them onboard!

Are you struggling to convince your husband with your ideas?

Do these steps - Acknowledge his ideas, Praise him, Suggest your idea and Praise him again.

Leave it there, don’t force your way and don’t compare his idea with yours. Leave him to do the comparison, he will think about it and likely come back to you.

Remember, you are his helpmeet, help with wisdom. Marriage requires a lot of wisdom.

Have an amazing week ahead.

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner.

SELF-CARE IS VERY IMPORTANT

Fri, 24 Nov 2023 06:32:09 GMT

SELF CARE IS VERY IMPORTANT

In church last weekend, we learnt about burnout.

When you’re feeling emotionally, physically and mentally overwhelmed and exhausted to the point where you begin to experience persistent headaches, tiredness, high blood pressure, poor sleep, loss of appetite and motivation. You are likely experiencing burnout.

We also learnt to manage burnout by knowing our boundaries and learning to say ‘NO’, speaking up to those around you, getting help by delegating tasks, taking sick leaves or annual leaves, going for vacation, seek counselling, spending time with your family/spouse, having sex.

In addition, resigning from the job that may be causing burnout if there’s no way out before you become depressed.

Self care is very important. Look after yourself before you burnout .

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner.

DON'T JUDGE

Mon, 13 Nov 2023 11:34:12 GMT

DON'T JUDGE

I was cleaning up my Gmail storage today and stumbled on these amazing pictures!

I also saw lots of emails that my husband and I exchanged while we were in our long distance relationship of five years!

They brought back lovely memories! It’s been 16 years since we met! How time flies!

I never imagined I would meet my husband online but it happened. I was about to enter into medical school while he was doing his Masters in Singapore and was working part-time in a restaurant. We had no idea how or when we would eventually meet because neither of us could afford the cost of travelling at that time but we knew we wanted to be with each other forever .

As I reminisced, my eyes were full of tears. Tears of joy that I did not despise the days of little beginnings. Grateful that I didn’t not judge him by what he looked like and what he had at that time. Grateful because I was able to see past his present circumstances and I understood the value he carried. I was able to see us work together fulfilling purpose. Our story is different today by God’s grace .

Dear Single lady,

Don’t judge a man too early. There’s no ugly guy o, he just needs money in his pocket, good food in his tommy, some nice clothes and proper grooming, he will be looking swanky .

If he is truly born again and lives like a child of God, loves you like kilode and is willing to commit to you! If he has an understanding of what he wants in life and is working towards it, if you can see how your role in his life will be of help to him. If he is willing to help you become who God wants you to be, and your core values align. Don’t think twice especially if God has spoken. Money will come if you both keep working hard and don’t give up.

Don’t be scared to build with him. It’s even better, you will have a huge say in what you both have built together than what he built alone.

BTW - I showed my boys these pictures and they said ‘Wow! Is this Daddy?’

The truth is when you come into your man’s life, you transform him and he does the same to you

Lots of love,

Dr. Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

LIFE IS IN PHASES, MEN ARE IN SIZES

Thu, 29 Jun 2023 21:30:20 GMT

LIFE IS IN PHASES, MEN ARE IN SIZES

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IS MARRIAGE HARD?

Mon, 03 Apr 2023 08:48:42 GMT

IS MARRIAGE HARD?

Marriage is difficult!

With the very high rate of divorce in our world today, many people are of the opinion that marriage is very difficult. In fact, some people will tell you that marriage is hard.

As a result of this, many singles are scared of going into marriage and if they do, they are worried about it working out.

See, marriage is not difficult. Why would God create something hard or something that is bound to fail? Everything God made is beautiful!

The reason why marriage seems hard is because of the hardness of hearts of the couple involved.

A lot of times married couples allow ego, pride, headiness, unfaithfulness, stubbornness, unforgiveness, lack of trust, poor communication and many more get in the way leading to strife, conflict, irreconcilable differences and eventually divorce if care is not taken.

Marriage is not hard. Choose right by choosing someone who values what you value. Once you make your decision, stay committed to your spouse by choosing to work on yourself and your marriage.

Marriage is beautiful, make it work!

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator & Mental Health Educator

BE PRESENT FOR YOUR CHILDREN

Thu, 30 Mar 2023 15:07:13 GMT

BE PRESENT FOR YOUR CHILDREN

Mum 1: I don’t want you visiting your friends because they make you do drugs.

Child 1: Mum, you have no right to tell me who to visit. Where were you when I was homeless? My mates were the ones who housed me.

Me: *speechless*

Child 2: My dad is useless, he’s never around. My mum doesn’t know how to be a mum, she’s always on her phone.

Me: I’m really sorry to hear.

Child 3: My parents are always fighting and yelling at each other, I don’t want to go back home. Can I go and live with my aunt instead?

Me: Sounds like being home with your parents is stressful for you.

Big sigh!

These are some of the things I hear which break my heart as a doctor working with children with mental illness.

As parents, we have a huge responsibility in providing love, security, stability and a peaceful home for our kids.

Please be present, be available for them. Avoid fighting in their presence, it traumatizes them beyond your imagination. Be a good role model. It helps.

Praying for strength for all parents struggling. It’s never too late to be there for your kids .

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

YOU WILL COME OUT STRONGER

Wed, 15 Mar 2023 12:23:37 GMT

YOU WILL COME OUT STRONGER

During my quiet time today, I read the book of Matthew 26:36-45.

However this verse caught my attention: “And he said to them, “My heart is overwhelmed and crushed with grief. It feels as though I’m dying. Stay here and keep watch with me.” Matthew 26:38 TPT.

I was reminded that our Lord also felt overwhelmed at some point in his life. He needed his besties by his side. He needed all their support but got nothing from them unfortunately. Not because they didn’t want to, but they were physically exhausted. Sadly, they were not present when he needed them the most.

The good thing about this story was that in the next verse we were told that Jesus cried out to God and an angel of God came to strengthen him.

Are you feeling overwhelmed just like Jesus did?

Are you in a dark space currently and it seems there’s no glimmer of hope?

Are you in so much pain and grief that you think life is no more worth living?

Whatever tribulation you may be going through, I want to encourage you to find a place of solitude just like Jesus did.

Pour your heart out to God and let Him know exactly how you feel. I assure you that He will give you the strength, comfort, peace, healing and victory that you need.

Jesus was later glorified after his suffering.

You too will come out stronger than ever in Jesus name ��.

God bless you.

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo | The Purpose Preacher

DO YOU HAVE PROBLEM WITH SLEEPING?

Tue, 07 Mar 2023 16:52:12 GMT

DO YOU HAVE PROBLEMS WITH SLEEP

One of the most common complaints I often come across from my patients is problem with sleep.

Poor sleep could affect your mood, make you become easily irritable, struggle with focusing on tasks, affects your physical health and is also associated with depression and anxiety.

Some of the tips I provide my patients with to help them sleep without medications include:

1. Sticking to a sleep schedule: This means sleeping and waking up at the same time every day even on weekends. This helps to get you into a rhythm of consistent sleep.

2. Avoid naps in the afternoon as they can prevent you from sleeping at night. If you must, limit it to a short period in the afternoon.

3. Avoid alcohol, caffeine and heavy meals in the evening

4. Exercise daily

5. Have a quiet dark room with a comfortable pillow and mattress.

6. Avoid electronic devices about 30- 60 minutes before bed time. These cause mental stimulation and generate blue light that may decrease melatonin production- a hormone that facilitates sleep.

Adults generally need 7-9 hours of sleep.

God bless you.

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

BEFORE YOU YELL...

Mon, 27 Feb 2023 10:57:19 GMT

BEFORE YOU YELL...

I got back from work yesterday and met my boy focusing on something else even though he saw me. He didn’t say ‘hello’ or ‘welcome mummy’, no hug, nothing!

His brother heard my voice and ran to welcome me with a hug instead.

Then I said to my other son, ‘you are yet to say hello to mummy, where is my hug?’

He walked up to me as though I forced him to greet.

I was quite upset. This boy has been behaving somehow for some days now and I’ve been correcting him. I was tempted to raise my voice but I held my tongue and kept my cool.

I said to him, ‘let’s go and have a chat’.

We sat on the bed together and I opened up with a prayer.

Then I took time to tell him some of the changes I’ve noticed. I asked him what has been going on. We spoke at length, then he told me about something that has been happening in school which he hasn’t been happy about. Apparently it has been affecting him. I validated his feelings and hugged him and we got it sorted.

I then expressed how I would love for him to welcome me when I get back from work and we finished our chat with prayers, hugs and kisses.

I got home tonight very tired without even remembering the conversation yesterday.

To my surprise, my son ran towards me, all smiles, prostrated and gave me a hug!

I kissed him on the fore head and whispered in his ears, ‘I’m so proud of you, well done for being obedient’. He made my evening!

Dear parents, before you yell at that child, hear them out and show some love and affection. Children are still trying to figure out how to express their emotions and they could do it in ways that annoy you. Rather than get annoyed at them, help them navigate this struggle.

I hope this helps someone?

May God give us the wisdom we need in raising our kids.

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo | Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

REST ON GOD'S PROMISES

Mon, 20 Feb 2023 23:04:40 GMT

VALENTINES' DAY IS AROUND THE CORNER

Mon, 13 Feb 2023 07:48:31 GMT

Valentines’ Day is around the corner

If you’re like me who struggled for some years without any Valentine, you would be feeling sad and anxious by now.

Honestly, I know the feeling. Having all your friends around you pepper you with Val’s day plans and you wondering if anyone would val you….

I used to ask myself if I wasn’t beautiful or attractive or may be something was wrong with me, because of my unendowed physical features at that time .

I look back now and thank God because if I had, I possibly might have been deceived into giving away my body in exchange for perishable gifts all under the mirage of being ‘in love’.

Dear Single lady, not being in a relationship at this time is not the end of the world o. Valentines Day will come and go! Please, don’t send yourself into depression because of this.

I know you want to feel loved, who doesn’t? However, I assure you that the man that would love and value you for who you are will come.

Do something interesting this year instead of sulking - dress up, make up, look good, smell nice, take yourself out on a date, order your own meal, buy yourself a beautiful gift, address a card to yourself and write how much you mean to you .

The beginning of finding true love actually starts with loving yourself. Self love is very attractive!

To those of you who would receive gifts on that day, please, know that even iPhone 14 is not anywhere close to your value! Don’t get carried away! Don’t let any man put you under any pressure to do what God would not be proud of. Don’t sell yourself cheap.

Today, my story is different. I can’t count how many gifts I’ve received from my darling husband and he doesn’t even need Valentines Day to express his love to me

I’d leave you with this - never forget that you are loved the most by God and his heart beats for you!

I love you too!

My books are available on Selar if you would love to get valuable contents as regards God-ordained relationships.

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

LEAVE TO CLEAVE

Tue, 07 Feb 2023 19:16:22 GMT

LEAVE TO CLEAVE

The body content of your post goes here. To edit this text, click on it and delete this default text and start typing your own or paste your own from a different source.

HERE'S HOW TO OVERCOME SLEEP PROBLEMS

Mon, 30 Jan 2023 12:19:38 GMT

HERE'S HOW TO OVERCOME SLEEP PROBLEMS

One of the most common complaints I often come across from my patients is problem with sleep.

Poor sleep could affect your mood, make you become easily irritable, struggle with focusing on tasks, affects your physical health and is also associated with depression and anxiety.

Some of the tips I provide my patients with to help them sleep without medications include:

1. Sticking to a sleep schedule: This means sleeping and waking up at the same time every day even on weekends. This helps to get you into a rhythm of consistent sleep.

2. Avoid naps in the afternoon as they can prevent you from sleeping at night. If you must, limit it to a short period in the afternoon.

3. Avoid alcohol, caffeine and heavy meals in the evening

4. Exercise daily

5. Have a quiet dark room with a comfortable pillow and mattress.

6. Avoid electronic devices about 30- 60 minutes before bed time. These cause mental stimulation and generate blue light that may decrease melatonin production- a hormone that facilitates sleep.

Adults generally need 7-9 hours of sleep

Regards.

Relationship Educator & Mental Health Practitioner

FIVE MENTAL HEALTH GOALS

Mon, 23 Jan 2023 09:46:32 GMT

FIVE MENTAL HEALTH GOALS

1. Love yourself -

You may not be where you want to be but be grateful for where you are.

Choose to appreciate and applaud yourself for the little steps of progress that you make.

Avoid comparing, don't compete just do you and love you.

2. Take a break -

Stress can cause a mental breakdown.

Take a break from work, go on leave so you don’t break down. Don’t wait till you are sick or break down before you actually take a sick leave. You could be overwhelmed emotionally with work, take a break.

Take a break off social media intermittently! It helps!

3. Exercise:

Yes, this is very important! Go for that walk, run, skip, jog, dance, gym…Whatever sport you enjoy! Just do it!

Exercise has a way of releasing hormones that make us feel good and boost our mood.

4. Cut down on substances you might be addicted to -

Like coffee, alcohol, tobacco, cannabis/weed/marijuana, cocaine, etc. A lot of these substances mess with our brains, mess with our mental health. You may think they make you feel good short term but the long term effects are deleterious.

5. Surround yourself with good people -

The truth is there would be tough times, times you feel down, feel heart broken, overwhelmed, exhausted, or even depressed!

You need the right people around you to encourage you and lift up your spirit. People who will hug you tight and let you know they believe in you! ❤️

I hope you take these 5 goals seriously.

Your mental health matters!

©️Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator & Mental Health Practitioner

FIVE NEW YEAR GOALS FOR YOUR FAMILY

Mon, 16 Jan 2023 08:49:56 GMT

FIVE NEW YEAR GOALS FOR YOUR FAMILY

1.Have a budget and stick to it:

Don’t just spend as you earn this year, invest too. Invest in what you understand - shares, properties, business etc. Don’t spend all your money on aso-ebi or on other expenses that add no real value to you this year. Make savings and investments a priority. It will come at a cost but it will be worth it.

2. Consistent family devotion:

Life can get so busy that everyone goes about their individual lives without having time to meet and pray as a family. In my family we have a day of the week where we have chosen to intentionally pray and study God’s word together despite our busy schedules. A family that prays together stays together.

3. Walk in love:

Choose your words wisely. Correct in love avoiding negative criticisms. Call one another more frequently and be willing to give your listening listening ears. Make room for faults and forgive in advance.

4. Take a break:

Be intentional about taking a break not just to rest but also to spend time with your family. Spend time with your spouse, take time to know what is happening in your children’s lives. Let your family know that you value them.

5. Live within your means:

You will always see families who seem to be doing better than you in some aspects of life. You may be tempted to try to compete with them or try to fit in. It is not necessary, don’t go into debt trying to paint a picture of what you are not on social media or anywhere else. Be content with what you have as a family.

Regards

©️Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Coach & Mental Health Practitioner

10 PHYSICAL HEALTH GOALS FOR 2023.

Mon, 09 Jan 2023 10:33:57 GMT

10 PHYSICAL HEALTH GOALS FOR 2023

1.To see your doctor for a routine medical check up if you haven’t done so in the last two years.

2. To avoid eating late dinners. Ideally eat before 7pm.

3. To stop/reduce the quantity of caffeine, alcohol and other substances that you may be addicted to.

4. To reduce your consumption of junk food. If you take it everyday, you can start making it only six days a week instead until you finally get rid of them.

5. To avoid self-medicating as much as possible.

6. To finish your course of antibiotics or any other prescription you are given by your doctor. I know many of us are on this table .

7. To take time to sleep for at least 6 hours daily. Your body needs this.

8. To be intentional about drinking 6-8 glasses of water or about 2 litres daily. Getting a water bottle may help you keep on too of this.

9. To spend at least 20 minutes exercising daily - it could just be as simple as going for a walk.

10. To achieve/maintain a healthy weight this year. A BMI of between 19-25 is ideal. A waist circumference of 37 inches and 32 inches for men and women respectively.

I hope this helps you.

May God grant us all good health this year.

Regards

©️Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

DO NOT FALL INTO THIS TRAP

Tue, 06 Dec 2022 14:25:10 GMT

DO NOT FALL INTO THIS TRAP

If the guy you’re in a relationship with is always complaining that you are too ambitious or you are doing too much or you need to calm down on that thing you want to achieve…

Every time, it’s like he applies the brakes and convinces you not to pursue your dreams and because you are ‘in love’, you obey… This is a red flag!

See, you have not yet found Mr Right o, no matter how ‘in love’ you are; that man cannot handle the greatness ahead of you. Marry him at the detriment of your purpose and fulfilment in life.

Many women have fallen into this trap!

Some men are very complacent and lackadaisical about life and purpose while others have low self esteem and cannot stand their wives being greater than them in any way. Run away from such men if you are a purposeful woman! They will slow you down!

They say love is blind but marriage is the eye opener. Don’t wait till you get married, it will be too late!

I just felt someone needed this, I hope it helps?

Get my book Relationship Red Flags - 10 Signs That You Are In The Wrong Relationship. It will help you even more .

Get it here: https://selar.co/dnwh

God bless you.

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

HOW TO MAKE YOUR LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WORK

Mon, 14 Nov 2022 19:28:17 GMT

HOW TO MAKE YOUR LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WORK

I met my husband online. Ours was a very long distance relationship and by God’s grace we had a successful courtship. We have been married for years now to the glory of God. So I thought to share some tips that helped us during our long distance courtship, hopefully it can be of help to you

1. Keep God at the centre of your relationship:

Even though you both can’t go to church together, you can still share God’s word and pray together regularly. In fact, hubby and I had a day set aside for fasting and praying every week! We would pray concerning our future marriage, our children, our goals, our lives. We knew without His help, we would not make it through.

2. Communicate regularly:

Call your partner as many times as possible and convenient for you both daily. If the time difference is a lot it could make a huge impact on the relationship. In our case, there was about 11-12 hours difference! Despite this we would talk when I wake up, when he is going to bed, when he wakes up and when I’m going to bed! Lol! We just had to communicate somehow.

3. Prioritize your relationship:

If the other person means a lot to you, the major way you can let him or her know is by spending time with them despite your busy schedule. I was so busy in medical school and my husband was busy with his PhD but we had to create time to invest in our relationship so as to make it work! It won’t work automatically; you need to invest your time!

4. Maximise technology:

Use video calls as often as possible, they give you the feeling of being with your partner. Text back and forth too regularly! Oh, we would chat for hours! Keep in touch! Talk about your visions, your likes, your dislikes, your expectations, your strengths, your weaknesses, your future, talk about everything. Also, using this medium, do things you both enjoy e.g. sing together, review books, movies, play games, etc.

5. Listen with your head and your heart!

If you are going to marry this person, you need to pay attention to everything the person is saying. Ask questions, don’t just gist about irrelevant things. Do the answers match up all the time? Is your partner being sincere with you? If you are in doubt, speak up! You’ve also got to be sure your values and beliefs are compatible.

6. Keep in touch with your partner’s family:

You cannot be in a secret long distant relationship! Know his/her parents, siblings and close friends. Speak with them often and visit them if possible. Ask to speak to his/her friends, roommates, church members, pastor and pastor’s wives or leaders in his/her church. This is for your own security, it makes your partner more committed to the relationship, and it makes you known in his/her circle of friends and family. Again, don’t be in a secret relationship for your own good!

7. You can be romantic in a long distant relationship!

Hubby and I used to send each other gifts across the oceans! It used to take about 6 weeks for my gift to be delivered but I would send him just in time for his birthday, valentine and Christmas every single year! Same with him, we surprised each other with gifts too sometimes. I remember a Valentine’s Day hubby planned a surprise with a gift company and got all sorts delivered to my room in Uni! Oh! I would never forget! Even though he was absent, it felt as if he was present! Spark up your long distant relationship!

8. Visiting as often as possible is advised:

Both of you should plan to do this. It’s always amazing to see the one you love in flesh and blood! It strengthens the relationship. For cross-country long distant relationships, this may not happen as often as you want but cherish whenever you can make it happen.

9. Trust is very vital:

If you don’t trust your partner, it would be difficult to be in that relationship! Hubby and I promised to share everything with each other even our wrongs! We promised we were not going to hide anything from each other and despite the distance, I could tell where he was every single time and same with him. This built trust between us.

10. Plan your future together:

Discuss and decide who will move or where you both are going to settle down. This could be very delicate as it comes with a lot of sacrifice for the person who will be moving but you’ve got to talk about it regularly to be sure it’s what you want in life and you both are on the same page!

I pray that you get it right in your relationship in Jesus name. Amen

Regards

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

ASK INTELLIGENT QUESTIONS IN COURTSHIP

Mon, 07 Nov 2022 08:34:45 GMT

ASK INTELLIGENT QUESTIONS IN COURTSHIP

A couple got married and for one year they could not do the DO because the guy’s D could not do!

They did not talk about this before marriage!

These are important topics to talk about to avoid divorce later.

1. Sex: This is a major lubricant for a successful marriage. Many people have gone into marriage with different and rigid mindsets about sex leading to sexual dissatisfaction. Ask sex related questions before you marry and know where each of you stands with the different types of sex so that you are clear what you want to be committed to in marriage. This is not a sin!

2. Religion: When people marry those of different spiritual beliefs and significantly different doctrines, there’s bound to be clashes in that marriage. Marry your type! Don’t be carried away by your emotions saying ‘we’re in love’. Don’t marry them just because they are ‘nice’. Being nice is not a fruit of the spirit. Remember when you choose your path, you automatically choose your destination. Don’t get lost!

3. Children: I heard of a couple who got divorced because one person didn’t want children while the other person wanted. Another couple got divorced because they couldn’t have children. Please talk about these before you say ‘I do’. Talk about contraception also and whether or not you both would consider assisted forms of conception if needed. Parenting style is another big one! Talk about it.

4. Money: This is actually number 1! Some people are big spenders, some are big debtors, others are big savers. Talk about your money language, debts, perspectives about investment, types of investments you both would like, budgeting, joint or no joint account and more!

Many divorces occur as a result of these four deep seated issues in marriage.

Singles, please take time to ask intelligent questions while courting. Courtship is not a period of intercourse but a period of interview!

I pray that you get it right in marriage in Jesus name.

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

READ BOOKS OF VALUE AND LEARN

Mon, 31 Oct 2022 11:33:28 GMT

READ BOOKS OF VALUE AND LEARN

We go to school and spend lots of years studying, learning, writing exams just to be the best in our careers but which school or how much effort do we put into becoming successful in marriage?

Many people go into marriage without any idea of what marriage is all about or what they need to look out for before walking down that aisle to say ‘I DO’. They have lots of fantasies and unrealistic expectations about marriage and get shocked after!

One of the ways to have a happy marriage is by equipping yourself with the right information. Read books of value and learn.

There are so many successful professionals today with unsuccessful marriages because they did not take time to learn, unlearn and relearn the fundamentals of choosing right and having a fulfilling marriage.

I have written five books so far to help you navigate relationship issues and choose right.

Whether you are single and searching, dating, engaged, long distance relationship, separated, divorced or your relationship status is complicated, these books will be of tremendous value to you!

Love Beyond Borders - Secrets To A Successful Long Distance Relationship

I Wish I Never Got Married

Are We Compatible? 65 Important Questions To Ask Before You Get Married

Slide Into My DM - 10 Proven Tips to Find and Keep Your True Love Online

Relationship Red Flags - 10 Signs That You Are In The Wrong Relationship

Find them on Selar, Amazon or Okadabooks at affordable prices.

Pay now for your marital bliss or pay dearly later with lots of regrets due to ignorance!

The choice is yours!

You can have the marriage of your dreams

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

FOR MY PURPOSEFUL SINGLE LADIES

Mon, 24 Oct 2022 19:42:38 GMT

FOR MY PURPOSEFUL SINGLE LADIES

This is for my Purposeful Single Ladies,

I know you can’t wait to get married.

I know you have been praying for Mr Right for such a long time.

I know you are dream daily of your wedding day.

I know the pressure is intense.

I know you sometimes feel embarrassed to go for weddings because those way younger than you are getting married and people can’t stop asking you that question you dread.

I know you sometimes wet your pillow to sleep because you feel like time has gone.

I have a word for you…

Please do not settle!

Do not settle for just any man that comes your way despite the pressure.

My heart breaks when I hear of purposeful ladies who missed it maritally just because they could no longer wait.

Don’t meet a man on Monday and get married on Wednesday! Please, don’t rush into marriage!

Time reveals who a person truly is. If you would be together for a lifetime, why the rush?

So many people who have rushed into marriage are rushing out. Do your due diligence.

Take this from me, you are better of being single and living your best life than being married and living a miserable life.

Being single isn’t a disease that you pray to be cured from. It is a huge blessing if you take advantage of the opportunities in it.

Marriage is beautiful but it can mar your life if you miss it. Don’t be desperate, enjoy your single life.

Remember this: There is no late comer in marriage.

You will not miss it maritally in Jesus name. Amen

God bless you.

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

THE NEW YOU

Mon, 17 Oct 2022 12:23:07 GMT

THE NEW YOU

When you eventually discover your identity and know your true value, don’t be afraid to introduce people to the new YOU.

Some will be shocked, make noise, criticise, challenge and even gossip about you. Don’t worry, after some time, they will adjust if you don’t compromise on your boundaries.

Never forget this:

You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.

Don’t settle for less again.

Enjoy your week

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator & Mental Health Practitioner

NO ONE IS BETTER THAN YOU

Tue, 11 Oct 2022 09:09:19 GMT

NO ONE IS BETTER THAN YOU

Last weekend I had the privilege of attending the New Zealand National Interschool Chess Competition with my sons.

I was so proud of them as they were part of the team that represented their school.

It was an intense competition. One of my sons lost three consecutive rounds and was feeling disappointed and defeated. I could see through him, so I called him aside to have a chat. He didn’t want to talk about it initially, eventually, he did.

He said to me ‘I’m not a good player, they are better than me’ as he became teary. He went on to tell me the mistakes he made that made him lose those rounds.

Then I hugged him, wiped his tears, acknowledged his feelings and provided him with some strategies for the next game.

I then looked into his eyes, called his name and said to him - ‘No one is better than you; they may be doing better but they are not better than you!’ Then, I kissed him and gave him a high five.

Guess what? He went in for the next round and won it! He won another round again after that and gave me a big hug and was all smiles. His confidence was restored.

Why have I shared this?

A lot of times in life, we go through challenging situations that make us feel deflated. All we need is a positive voice around us to cheer us on and validate us.

Are you feeling discouraged just like my son did? I’d like to encourage you today.

Look into the mirror and say to yourself ‘No one is better than me; they may be doing better but they are not better than me’.

Now get back on your feet and try again. You will succeed if you don’t give up!

I believe in you.

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

SOME TIPS FOR THE LADIES

Mon, 12 Sep 2022 16:06:13 GMT

SOME TIPS FOR THE LADIES

Ladies,

You are on social media and the only thing you keep posting is what you are selling - human hair, cakes, shoes, clothes, bags etc.

You post nothing about yourself, even your profile picture is the picture of human hair!

Nobody really knows you or what you look like! Yet, you are single and searching, praying seriously to God for a Prince Charming.

Do you know that Prince Charming could be online? Yet, scrolling past your page every time, because you have refused to show your beautiful face.

See, your presence online is also as important as your presence offline.

I found true love online and I provide you with practical tips to find and keep your true love online in my book SLIDE INTO MY DM

Available on Selar, Amazon and on Okada books.

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator & Mental Health Practitioner

DON'T GIVE UP

Mon, 05 Sep 2022 12:41:31 GMT

DON'T GIVE UP

During my quiet time yesterday, I read about how the King of Assyria, a strong and powerful king who conquered many countries boasted and threatened to kill Hezekiah the king of Judah and the people of God.

The truth was that he had the power to do it, he had the army to do it, he had everything and he was going to get rid if them.

Hezekiah was very scared for his life and the life of his people. In his fear, he cried out to God. He knew that if God did not intervene he and his people were finished!

God answered His prayer. Unbelievably, overnight 185,000 armies of Assyria slept and never woke up! The king of Assyria was put to shame and the people of God were victorious!

May be you are in a tough situation like Hezekiah was:

That disease may have killed other people, it will not kill you

For others the door may be shut but it will open for you

You may be scared time is going, you are not married yet, God will come through for you, you will recover all

I want to encourage to cry out to God, put your faith in Him, don’t give up on Him and don’t give up on yourself. You will not be put to shame.

He will fight for you and you will hold your peace.

This month of September would be one to remember for good in Jesus name.

You will testify! The enemies and challenges you see today, you will see them no more!

Amen somebody?

Have a victorious month!

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

CHEATING IN MARRIAGE

Mon, 29 Aug 2022 17:11:37 GMT

CHEATING IN MARRIAGE

In marriage, cheating is not just about kissing and having intercourse with another person. If you are doing these, you’re already there:

1. If you are consistently giving another woman most of your time and attention, you are likely cheating.

2. If your wife is consistently complaining about the time and attention you give to that other person or it’s impacting negatively on the time and attention you give your wife, you are cheating.

3. If you feel like you need to lie or sugar coat things to your wife about this person, you are cheating.

4. If you feel the need to change your phone password or change the name of the person on your phone so your wife does not know, you are cheating.

5. If you feel the need to delete chats/phone calls with that person or make the calls secretly so that your wife doesn’t know, you are cheating.

6. If you feel the need to hide meetings with the other person from your wife, you are cheating.

7. If you are making the other woman feel hopeful that she has some space in your life, you are cheating.

8. If you are flirting with a woman consistently, you are cheating.

9. If you are becoming emotionally intimate with another woman, you are cheating.

10. When you derive pleasure from porn and secretly watch this, you are cheating.

Please bear in mind these points can relate to either gender.

Infidelity in marriage doesn’t happen suddenly.

Cheating is a choice not a mistake, so please examine yourself and retrace your steps before it is too late.

Rather than pay more attention to what you may be missing in your marriage, pay more attention to what you have.

Your marriage can blossom again.

Lots of love,

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

MAKE SURE YOU TALK ABOUT THESE THINGS BEFORE MARRIAGE

Tue, 23 Aug 2022 13:25:07 GMT

MAKE SURE YOU TALK ABOUT THESE THINGS BEFORE MARRIAGE

A couple got married and for one year they could not do the DO because the guy’s D could not do!

They did not talk about this before marriage!

These are important topics to talk about to avoid divorce later.

Many divorces occur as a result of these four deep seated issues in marriage.

Singles, please take time to ask intelligent questions while courting. Courtship is not a period of intercourse but a period of interview!

I pray that you get it right in marriage in Jesus name.

Don’t forget to share!

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator | Mental Health Practitioner

DON'T FALL INTO THIS TRAP

Mon, 15 Aug 2022 10:42:22 GMT

DON'T FALL INTO THIS TRAP

If the guy you’re in a relationship with is always complaining that you are too ambitious or you are doing too much or you need to calm down on that thing you want to achieve…

Every time, it’s like he applies the brakes and convinces you not to pursue your dreams and because you are ‘in love’, you obey…

This is a red flag!

See, you have not yet found Mr Right o, no matter how ‘in love’ you are; that man cannot handle the greatness ahead of you. Marry him at the detriment of your purpose and fulfilment in life.

Many women have fallen into this trap!

They say love is blind but marriage is the eye opener. Don’t wait till you get married, it will be too late!

I just felt someone needed this, I hope it helps?

Get my book Relationship Red Flags - 10 Signs That You Are In The Wrong Relationship. It will help you even more .

Get it here: https://selar.co/dnwh

God bless you.

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

MARRIAGE IS HONOURABLE BUT AN ABUSIVE ONE IS NOT!

Mon, 01 Aug 2022 12:20:38 GMT

MARRIAGE IS HONOURABLE BUT AN ABUSIVE ONE IS NOT!

If he would abuse you in marriage, some of the subtle signs would be present a lot of times while dating if you pay attention to it…

When you are constantly being put down and being made to feel worthless in that relationship, be sure that he would do worse in marriage.

When he is domineering and threatening, insisting that you obey his command even when it hurts you, that’s the another sign.

When you he hits you and then blames you for his action instead of apologising, you are going to get more hits in marriage.

When he physically violates you and tells you that it is a weakness of his, then apologises and repeats the cycle…. That’s a red flag!

Run for your life!!! You haven’t found Mr Right yet, sister. No matter how handsome or heavily anointed he appears to be; he is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Don’t marry a handsome devil! He will not change just because you marry him!

If you have already, don’t sacrifice your life on the altar of marriage. It is not worth it! Leave that man and stop trying to fix him!

There is much more to your life than an abusive marriage. Don’t let a man who does not value your destiny cut it short!

God values your life and needs you alive to fulfill His purpose!

Marriage is honourable but an abusive marriage is not.

Say NO to domestic violence!

I hope this helps someone?

God bless you.

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

FRIENDSHIP IN MARRIAGE

Mon, 25 Jul 2022 09:23:02 GMT

FRIENDSHIP IN MARRIAGE

My husband and I frequently say to each other - ‘Babe, I love our friendship’.

Once we are together or over the phone, we would talk and talk and move from one topic to the next brainstorming, rubbing ideas, envisioning our future, strategising, gisting, cracking jokes, laughing, gossiping, playing and lots more. In fact, we have to intentionally stay away from each other in order to get work done .

Even though we met online and had a long-distance relationship, one of the secrets of the success of our marriage today is that we have a solid friendship. Back in those days, since we couldn’t see each other, we communicated everyday and developed great friendship.

Singles, marry your friend and become best friends.

Marriage is sweet when you marry someone who you can be yourself with and be vulnerable with.

Most importantly, distance is not a barrier to developing great friendship. Distance means so little when someone means so much.

My new book Slide into my DM - 10 Proven Tips to Find and Keep Your True Love Online; is now available on my website; www.blessingekundayo.com . You’ll love it .

God bless you.

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

YOU CAN MEET YOUR SPOUSE ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Mon, 11 Jul 2022 11:59:09 GMT

YOU CAN MEET YOUR SPOUSE ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Even though I met my husband online, we actually met through a friend.

I met this friend also online and we became close; he was like a big brother to me. I knew me and my big brother were not compatible for a relationship but we stayed as friends and talked regularly.

One day, my big brother decided to introduce me to his ‘brother’ whom he thought would be a good match for me! He was right! Bless his soul .

He told his ‘brother’, ‘She is a good girl, you will like her’. He was right again!

See, on the streets of social media, don’t ever underestimate or look down on anyone even if you think they have nothing to offer you.

They may be the answer to your long time prayer.

They may be your destiny helper.

They may be your spouse! So, be kind!

You can meet your spouse on social media

You can have a fruitful long-distance relationship

Your can marry the spouse you met online

You can have a successful marriage with the spouse you met online

How did my husband and I make our relationship work?

Full love story of how my husband and I clicked, started our relationship and tips that made it work in my new book:

SLIDE INTO MY DM: 10 Proven Tips to Find and Keep Your True Love Online

Buy on Selar, Amazon or Okada books.

God bless you.

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

WHAT TO DO IN THE SECOND HALF OF THE YEAR

Mon, 04 Jul 2022 16:21:29 GMT

WHAT TO DO IN THE SECOND HALF OF THE YEAR

Welcome to the second half of year 2022

Please ensure that you are more intentional about your life this half than you were in the first half.

Limit the time you spend on social media and invest more in yourself instead.

-Spend more time with God

-Cut off from toxic friends or relationships.

-Set short term goals you want to achieve by the end of the year and walk towards them.

-Love yourself like never before.

Have an amazing month of July!

It is my prayer that we all see the end of this year alive and well with our families in Jesus name

Happy New Month,

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

POWER OF CONSISTENCY

Mon, 27 Jun 2022 11:47:16 GMT

POWER OF CONSISTENCY

Recently, one of the Purposeful brothers’ post on Instagram went viral with over a million views! I was shocked! I never experredit

One of the lessons I learnt from it was consistency!

You see, I started their IG page last year and was posting videos where I taught them the Yoruba language but got so busy that I stopped posting there for months and forgot about it! They had only about a 100 plus followers at that time.

Late last year, a parent called me and was asking why my husband and I stopped posting on their page. I explained that I was busy. However, that question kept ringing in my head and I was reminded of the purpose for creating the page in the first place - to inspire parents to bring up their children in God’s way by spending time with them and teaching them his word.

So, I picked up from where I stopped and told hubby we needed to do this together and his energy has been wonderful.

Since then, it’s been an amazing journey!

Today, they have over 13000 followers and the feedback has been nothing short of amazing! How? Consistency!

Much more than that, my husband and I have learnt a lot about their gifts and our friendship with them continues to get better as a result.

My encouragement to you today is not to give up on whatever project you started just because it’s not yet yielding as much profit you anticipated. Don’t despise the days of little beginnings. Consistency truly adds up!

You post today on social media with only few likes and comments, don’t be discouraged. Keep posting!

Most importantly, parents, please don’t neglect quality time with your children.

Be their best friend!

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

DON'T RUSH!

Mon, 20 Jun 2022 17:49:49 GMT

DON'T RUSH

Don't rush into marriage with just anyone just because everyone around you is getting married and you are scared of being left out.

Don't rush into marriage because everyone keeps asking when you are going to get married and so you succumb to the pressure.

Don't rush into marriage because you accidentally got pregnant for a man you don't intend to spend the rest of your life with.

Don't rush into marriage because 'age is no longer on your side'.

Don't rush into marriage if you feel incomplete and lack self-worth thinking marriage would complete you or restore your confidence.

Don't rush into marriage because he/she lives abroad!! Living abroad is not what makes a marriage work!

Marriage is a life-time commitment.

If your reason for going into marriage is any of the above, you would rush in and rush out or have to endure the pain that comes with being married to the wrong person.

It's better to remain unmarried fulfilling purpose and happy than to be married, miserable and lonely.

Everyone's time is different, your own time too will come.

Don't rush into marriage!!!

My dear singles, I hope you get it???

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

MY TESTIMONY

Mon, 06 Jun 2022 09:02:50 GMT

MY TESTIMONY

Exactly nine years ago, I stepped my feet on the soils New Zealand to join my husband to live happily ever after .

You see, I had a lot of fears about NZ especially with regards to my career. I knew I had to cross the hurdle of three different exams to be able to practice as a doctor but arriving NZ dealt me so many blows that I hadn’t bargained for!

The NZ accent was on another level, I couldn’t understand it!

The jokes, I didn’t get them; a lot of times I’ll just laugh because they are laughing. Lol

Or was it the way they stylishly ask you a question but indirectly are instructing you! Chai! These people are polite!

I once got asked by my manager “Blessing would you like to have a chat?” I said “No, I’m busy” and he left! Lol. I realised years later that he was requesting to have a meeting with me.

Back to my career gist, life was very challenging here. I heard about how they had stopped writing the medical registration exams in NZ (wrong information btw), I was advised to change career, there were days I cried and wondered why God brought me here because I felt stuck!

However, in the midst of all the challenges and seeming impossibilities, I didn’t give up, I didn’t lose hope and God showed up, He proved Himself and I passed all my exams.

As if that was not enough, getting a job as a doctor here was not an easy task. In fact, one of my colleagues told me that it was easier to pass the tough exams than to get a job as a doctor here. Yet again, God showed up! I got my first job as a doctor and I’ve gotten several others after. Glory to God.

Becoming a citizen of this beautiful country after six years of living here was another miracle and confirmation that God brought me here, He brought us here .

Nine years later, He’s made all things beautiful indeed.

Are you reading this and feeling discouraged about your current situation and almost giving up on God? Please don’t lose hope! The Bible says “weeping may last for a night but joy comes in the morning”.

God makes all things beautiful in its time and your joy will not elude you in Jesus name. Don’t give up, press on, keep on keeping on, make that phone call, send that email, register for that course, apply for that job, keep knocking on that door, keep praying. God is faithful, He is working for you behind the scenes.

God bless you

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

STAYING HAPPILY MARRIED IS THE REAL DEAL

Wed, 11 May 2022 09:32:24 GMT

STAYING HAPPILY MARRIED IS THE REAL DEAL

I was having a conversation today with a friend who just had her court marriage recently and she told me how the process took only 10 minutes!

She became ‘Mrs Somebody’ in just 10 minutes and a marriage certificate was handed over to her and her husband!

Then, I remembered the story I heard about a couple going through the process of divorce and I was told how challenging and lengthy the process is taking not to talk of the emotional and financial turmoil they are passing through!

Getting married is no big deal, however, staying happily married is the real deal!

This takes a lot of effort from both of you.

Singles, marriage is beautiful but look before you leap!

I hope this helps someone?

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

YOU CAN NEVER GO WRONG WITH GOD

Mon, 09 May 2022 08:51:43 GMT

YOU CAN NEVER GO WRONG WITH GOD

During my Quiet time today, I read the story of the wedding at Cana and how Jesus turned water into wine!

One of the lessons I learnt there was to completely trust and obey God even when it appears that the His instruction doesn’t make sense! This was what those servants did who fetched water and took that same water to the emcee who tasted it as the best wine!

You can never go wrong with God!

So, that man or woman that God has asked you to say yes to but you are hesitating because they don’t look like your spec, it doesn’t make sense and you are doubting they are God’s will for you?

Just trust and obey God, that spec/beautiful wine you are after in marriage, you would surely get it!

Remember, you can never go wrong with God!

This is someone’s word! I hope you get it!

God bless you.

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

MARRY YOUR FRIEND

Thu, 05 May 2022 07:38:19 GMT

MARRY YOUR FRIEND

Marry your friend!❤️❤️❤️

Before my husband and I got into a relationship, we were very good friends.

I’d stay up late chatting with him and we would talk about anything and everything with no strings attached. As we kept communicating with each other, we discovered that we had many things in common and we gradually became fond of each other and looked forward to each other’s company. This lasted for at least six months before we decided to be in a relationship.

Today, many ladies accept to go into a relationship with a guy they barely know with the hope of developing friendship later. Unfortunately, one thing leads to another, s€x is involved and by the time they discover the person does not share their values, they find it difficult to break up because they have given their bodies!

Others go into the relationship pretending to be who they are not and show their true colours in marriage which becomes a disaster.

Don’t fall into this trap!

Develop friendship first before getting into a relationship. Through this, you both would discover each other’s values and true character without any pressure or need to impress each other.

Friendship is one of the key ingredients for an enjoyable marriage!

I hope this helps someone?

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

MARRIAGE IS HARD!

Tue, 03 May 2022 13:47:43 GMT

MARRIAGE IS HARD

Marriage is difficult!

With the very high rate of divorce in our world today, many people are of the opinion that marriage is very difficult. In fact, some people will tell you that marriage is hard.

As a result of this, many singles are scared of going into marriage and if they do, they are worried about it working out.

See, marriage is not difficult. Why would God create something hard or something that is bound to fail? Everything God made is beautiful!

The reason why marriage seems hard is because of the hardness of hearts of the couple involved.

Marriage is not hard. Choose right by choosing someone who values what you value. Once you make your decision, stay committed to your spouse by choosing to work on yourself and your marriage.

Marriage is beautiful, make it work!

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

RESPONSIBILITY LEVEL

Wed, 27 Apr 2022 09:35:26 GMT

RESPONSIBILITY LEVEL

Dear Christian sister,

It is not enough to be in a relationship with a Christian brother, check that this brother is responsible!

Being responsible is a very critical aspect of being a husband. One of the signs of a responsible man is that he can provide for his family.

Many women have gotten entangled with lazy men who are not ready to work:

⁃ Men who are comfortable depending on their wives and others to feed them rather than look for something to do.

⁃ Men who would give many excuses of ‘there’s no job’. Yet, they do no not lift any finger or make any move to improve themselves or increase their value.

⁃ Men who have been brainwashed that faith is sitting down and expecting manna to fall from Heaven. What is faith without works?

Don’t ever fall into this trap that he would change! No! People don’t change that way, rather, they get tougher or even worse in marriage!

The Bible says in 2 Thessalonians 3:10b - “Whoever refuses to work is not allowed to eat.”

So, if such a man is not allowed to eat, then such a man does not even deserve a wife! If you marry him, you have married a burden and a prayer point! Don’t do it!

I am not saying marry a millionaire. I am saying marry a man who is hardworking, who has a vision for his life and has a job that will put food on the table and roof over your head! This is very important.

I hope this helps someone?

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

I DID NOT LIKE HOW STRICT MY PARENTS WERE...

Mon, 25 Apr 2022 09:29:23 GMT

I DIDN'T LIKE HOW STRICT MY PARENTS WERE

As a teenager, a lot of times, I did not like how strict my parents were with me - the discipline, correction, teachings and all…

There were times I just wanted to live my life the way I wanted and the way my friends were living theirs. It was as if my life was boring but my parents never failed to chop off my wings each time the way they knew how ��.

As an adult today and a parent myself, I look back and thank God for the training I got from them. I’m grateful for the balance of love, attention, affection and discipline in addition to the godly virtues I was taught.

Most of what I do with my children today, I learnt from them, just tweaking it a bit to fit the today’s world.

Are you still under the care of your parents? I know the training may not be completely pleasant but you would be grateful that you listened. It will save you from a lot of pain, heart breaks, troubles and more!

I hope this helps someone?

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

MUCH MORE IN HIM!

Tue, 19 Apr 2022 10:01:01 GMT

MUCH MORE IN HIM

For saving me

For delivering me

For setting me free

For snatching my soul from hell

For shedding your blood for me

For laying your life down for me

For giving me eternal life

For the assurance of Heaven some day

For showing me what true love really means

For loving me even when I didn’t deserve it…

Thank you Jesus for going the way of the cross for me. My life would have been messed up without you.

Dear friend, no matter your satisfaction or dissatisfaction about life, there’s much more in Jesus.

Please let Him have his way in your life today and your life will never be the same again.

Happy Easter everyone!

Regards,

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

DON'T SETTLE FOR LESS

Wed, 13 Apr 2022 10:05:59 GMT

DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS

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IMPORTANT DECISIONS

Mon, 11 Apr 2022 16:44:24 GMT

IMPORTANT DECISIONS

Singles, be determined not to be second option to another man or woman. Choose to love yourself like never before! Let no one act like they are doing you a favour by dating you. You deserve better.

In addition, say ‘No’ to being a side chic!

To the married women, that husband that you always nag at, decide to do something different next year.

Pour your love on him by respecting and honouring him. Speak positive and encouraging words instead of hateful and hurtful words. You will see how your marriage will have a new turn!

To the married men, give a helping hand to your wife in the kitchen and with the kids. Don’t just leave her to do all the work because she didn’t ask for your help.

Also, let her be your priority, shower her with love attention and affection. Most importantly, give her plenty money and don’t cheat on her! She would easily honour and respect you and make you extremely happy in the other room ��.

To everyone, make the word of God what you will live by. You will never go wrong with it.

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY

Mon, 04 Apr 2022 08:28:17 GMT

CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY

In 2022, choose your friends wisely ��

There are people you need to cut off. Those who are always wanting to get from you but never seeking to add to you in any meaningful way. These people will only call or text you when they need you. They don’t check to see how you are doing ❌

Those who never see anything good in what you do. They always find a way to criticise what you do. With them, you can never do anything good no matter how hard you try! Please, why are you still friends with them?You don't need them, cut them off ‼️

Those who you’ve been friends with for years and you all have remained on the same level for so long! ❌ You need new friends, it’s time to go forward❗️

Those who are good at backstabbing you. They smile at you but connive with your enemies. They are also enemies, let them go❗️

Instead, love yourself more than ever before, be true to yourself, be real! ✅

Invest so much in yourself, discover your purpose, value yourself and you will not be desperate, falling into the trap of fake friends.

Then, you will likely meet the right people, people who are going in your direction, who will add speed to your journey in life. ✅

People who you can also be of value to, people who will challenge you to become a better you and cheer you on! ✅

These are the people you need in the new year! ✅

Now, go and do a sifting of your friends, you don’t need everyone in 2022, you only need the right ones��.

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

DO YOU KNOW YOUR MARRIAGE CAN BE BETTER?

Wed, 30 Mar 2022 22:32:18 GMT

DO YOU KNOW YOUR MARRIAGE CAN BE BETTER?

❤️ Did you know that you could express your displeasure about something without raising your voice?

❤️ Did you know that correcting your partner and criticising your partner are two different things? One is from a place of love and seeks to help while the other is from a place of hurt and seeks attack.

❤️ Did you know that you could pass your message across without attempting to hurt their feelings?

❤️ Did you know that you could tell them about how unhappy you are about what they did without calling them names?

❤️ Did you know that your partner expressing how they also feel about whatever you did is okay and does not mean they want to get even with you?

❤️ Did you know that sometimes the issues that keep occurring in your relationship or marriage which you keep blaming your partner for may actually be your fault? Take time to look inwards.

❤️ Did you know that being told you are wrong and admitting it does not in any way remove a strand of hair from your head?

❤️ Did you know that you don’t have the power to fix or change your partner? Let the change start with you first.

❤️ Did you know that some of your wrong beliefs about how a relationship should be is as a result of the conditioning of your mind through your upbringing, what had been modelled for you, traumatic experiences or environment?

❤️ Did you know that your relationship or marriage could be better if you were willing to learn, unlearn and relearn?

Did you know?

I hope this helps someone?

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo | Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

2 THINGS YOU NEED TO PRIORITIZE

Mon, 28 Mar 2022 08:51:37 GMT

2 IMPORTANT THINGS

I was about to sleep last night and all of a sudden while on my bed, the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to an analogy with my driving experience that day and downloaded a whole message to me that someone needs to hear.

It was so refreshing. I’ll be sharing it soon.

Fellowship with the Spirit of God is so beautiful!

Intimacy with the Father is special. It is so sweet!

You too can be intimate with Him, you can hear His voice.

Have you studied your Bible today?

Have you spent time praying?

How hungry are you for God?

No matter how busy you get, please priortise these two things. This is not just to mark your calendar as a completion of your daily routine or to mark your attendance in and out of His presence but to enjoy intimacy with the Father which spills into His walk with you 24/7.

The Father desires that you spend time with Him.

Do it today and make it a priority.

You will be blessed that you did ❤️

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo | Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

THE LIES THAT MEN TELL

Mon, 21 Mar 2022 10:48:59 GMT

THE LIES THAT MEN TELL

THE LIES THAT MEN TELL!!!

Dear single lady,

Are you in a relationship with a guy who keeps demanding sex and because of the fear of losing him, you succumb? See, let me tell you the truth, if a man walks away from the relationship because you refused to sleep with him, that man does not deserve you! That man does not love you, he doesn’t value you, he is a selfish man looking to satisfy his lustful desires. What are you even doing with a man who doesn’t fear God?��

Ladies, it’s high time you stopped believing the lies some men tell just so that they can have sex with you. Most of the time even after you choose to have sex, he will still break up! Why? Because you are yet to value yourself, because you haven’t dealt with your low self-esteem, because he is not looking for a wife yet, because you were just like the other ladies he’s been with!!!

Men use these approaches to have their way with ladies, don’t fall prey!!!

1. THREAT APPROACH:

A man who threatens to end the relationship if you don’t have sex with him does not deserve you. What are you doing with a man who does not respect your values? Such a man is worth losing.

Ladies who continue with such men are ladies with very low self-esteem and think that their value is in remaining in a relationship with a guy even when he continues to make them feel worthless.

If you end up marrying him, he will make your life miserable and he would threaten you in other ways just so as to always have his way!!! How long do you want to keep displeasing God just because you want to maintain your relationship status of “in a relationship”? Let him go!

2. THE LADIES’ MAN APPROACH:

Guys who use this approach are usually either very handsome, rich, popular, intelligent. They let you know how many ladies are dying to be in a relationship with them and make you feel as if you have hit a jackpot!

They make you feel as though you are experiencing a once in a life time opportunity of being in a relationship with them and if you lose them just because of “simple sex” or “common sex”, you are doing yourself a disfavour.

My dear sister, fine boy is not what you need to have a good relationship. There are many ladies who have fallen into the trap of marrying fine boy but have a terrible marriage. Marry a Godly person. Someone who fears God and realizes that disobeying God is a BIG DEAL!

3. EVERYBODY IS DOING IT:

These kind of guys make you think that premarital sex is ok. They tell you how Sis A in the choir is having sex with Bro K and how Sis X is even trying to have sex with him. He tells you how his boss who is a church leader is after him sexually and makes you feel as if your Christianity is “too much!!!”

Don’t listen to him, not everyone is doing it! It is unfortunate that some people appear to be one leg in and one leg out with God. There are many who have chosen to keep themselves pure until marriage and since you have chosen to be one of those, let him know you will not bulge. If he genuinely loves you, he will go nowhere!

Guess what? He will trust you for life! If not, he isn’t worth the guilt that comes with sinning against God, let him go!

4. PROMISE APPROACH:

This guy will promise to marry you, he will promise you heaven even if you get pregnant. Many ladies fall into this trap once the guy has promised marriage and think it is safe to have sex. NO!!! It is not safe my dear!!! DO NOT!!!

See, women are generally moved by what we hear and a man who is bent on having his way with you will say anything you want just so that you give in. My dear, when a man is horny and wants to have sex, he could make promises that appear honest and you believe that he is indeed capable of fulfilling. But when he is no longer in that horny realm,�� and pregnancy sets in, reality sets in, you will be shocked to see how things will be reversed.

If he so much loves you and will marry you if you get pregnant, let him do the honourable thing, marry you first then he can make love to you 24/7 if he wants��

Genuine love is patient, if he isn’t able to wait, he does not deserve you, let him go!!!

5. GUILT APPROACH:

“So you are almost 30 and you are still a virgin? Are you sure something is not wrong with you?” Some guys will even make you look like you are not sexually ok and you begin to doubt yourself. You begin to think that if you have sex, at least you are sure that you are “normal” lol. Funny but these things happen!

My dear sister, there is nothing wrong with you being a virgin or remaining celibate until marriage. I was a virgin until I got married at 25 and if I had to wait some more years before finding Mr Right, I believe that by God’s grace I would have stayed pure. If God helped me, He can help you.

You are not abnormal by choosing to please God. He has made you complete and if there’s any concern about your sexuality, see a doctor. Pre-marital sex is not the confirmation that you are normal. It leaves you with pain, shame and a terrible guilt. It is a NO NO!!!

It doesn’t matter if you have been doing it, you can choose to obey God and say NO to premarital sex from today.

Sex is beautiful, it is designed by God to be enjoyed only in marriage (Hebrews 13:4). It so much fun and super exciting when you make love to the man your heart beats for, the man who values you, the man who respects you, the man who genuinely loves you, the man who honours you, the man who your soul is one with and most importantly the man who is a child of God.

It is worth waiting for. God bless you.

Thanks for reading.

This post was inspired by one of Pastor Bimbo Odukoya’s messages

Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

TRAIN UP YOUR CHILD

Wed, 16 Mar 2022 12:52:02 GMT

TRAIN UP YOUR CHILD

We finished having lunch yesterday and as usual, the boys packed up and the older one began washing the dishes.

I have been training my younger son to learn to do the dishes for some months now. He would usually stand by his brother watching him and then rinse the dishes after.

Yesterday, instead of staying with his brother, he was in the sitting room playing. So I said “Feranmi you need to be here with your brother learning how to do the dishes”.

To my surprise, he replied “Mummy I already know how to do the dishes, it’s just that you don’t believe in me”.

What? I was shocked! I never experredit! ��

I don’t believe in you bawo? How can I not believe in my own 6 year old son? Where did that even come from? So many thoughts running through my mind…

So, I said, “I believe in you darling, let’s give you a chance”.

I told him to finish washing the dishes and to my amazement, he did excellently!

I realised I had underestimated his abilities and reassured him that I believed in him, just did not know he had learnt it yet!

Why did I share it, there are so many lessons to learn from here. But I shared this to remind a parent out there, Give that child a chance to explore their abilities! Don’t underestimate them.

=============

Now that these two boys can wash the dishes, you don’t know how much relief I feel ��. I’m a very happy mum ��.

On to the next chore level - learning to wash the toilet ��.

Who is with me? ��

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo | Relationship Educator and Mental Health Practitioner

HAVING SEXUAL URGES IS NOT A SIN

Mon, 14 Mar 2022 09:42:28 GMT

HAVING SEXUAL URGES IS NOT A SIN

See, having sexual urges is not sinful! It just means that you are a normal human being with flesh and blood ��.

What is not ok is you satisfying your sexual urges by engaging in sexual activities outside of marriage. This does not bring glory to God.

Yes, it is challenging to live a sexually pure life in this sexually impure world! I’ve been there!

However, if God could help my then fiancé and I despite the intensity of our hawt emotions, then he can help you too ❤️.

You’re not a virgin anymore? No big deal! You can start on a clean slate!

Are you still a virgin? Well done! More grace to keep it up!

Virgin or no virgin, what is more important than your virginity is your sexual purity!

You see, pornography, masturbation, oral sex and all their brothers and sisters? Ehen, that’s what I’m talking about! Stay away from them. Or what’s the point of being a ‘virgin’ and still satisfying your sexual lust in an ungodly manner?

Glorify God with all the members of your body!

Am I communicating? It may not be what you want to hear but it is what you need to hear o ❤️

I still love you!

Have a blessed week.

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo | Relationship and Mental Health Practitioner

APPRECIATE YOURSELF

Wed, 09 Mar 2022 08:19:37 GMT

APPRECIATE YOURSELF

Towards the end of my 14-hour shift at work today, I received a phone call to review a patient.

I was already exhausted, so I asked if I could hand it over to the the next shift but the person at the other end was of the phone started giving me attitude, I just told her, ‘no worries I will come!’

On my way I began to feel very upset because it meant I would finish work later than usual as a result of seeing this patient so late.

Then I quickly caught myself and counted how many patients I had seen today. I was like wow! I felt very proud of myself and the impact I had made in the lives of those patients. I remember my mentor would always say, appreciate yourself!

I began to say to myself as I walked down to the ward: Blessing you are doing well, you are amazing, you are fantastic, you are blessed, you are a great doctor… By the time I finished I felt so good, guess what? The anger had vanished!

I went to see the patient, it was a very quick one, everyone was happy!

See, in this life ehn, do not let anyone or anything steal your happiness!

You may not be able to control people’s attitude towards you but you can control yours!

In the midst of your challenges, don’t forget to appreciate yourself! You may not be where you want to be, but you are not where you used to be.

Now say to yourself: I am doing well!

Lots of love

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

MARRY A MAN THAT WILL PROTECT YOU

Sun, 06 Mar 2022 23:53:29 GMT

MARRY A MAN THAT WILL PROTECT YOU

Ladies, marry a man that will not take nonsense from anyone, just to protect you!

Ok, so we dressed up that day to hangout with some friends o, not long after getting married.

While hanging out, I noticed one guy was just putting me down skilfully, passed some demeaning comments for no reason but I just laughed it off after all, I was new to oyinbo land, may be that’s how they joke here, so I thought but he was not an oyinbo guy. I later told hubby but he told me not to worry too much about it.

Anyway, fast forward to later that week, he got chatting with my King, and passed a comment at him saying “Small Blessing is now doing ….”. That was it o! My husband couldn’t take it anymore, ‘My wife? Small what?’ Told him off immediately and warned him sternly! That was the end of the friendship!

Ladies, marry a man who will stand up to protect you!

Marry a man who will not allow anyone throw shade at you!

Marry a man who will not allow his family treat you like an outcast!

Marry a man who will look anyone in the eye and dare them to touch you!

Marry a man who knows your value and will treat you as priceless!

I hope this has blessed you.

Lots of love,

Dudushewa

INTENTIONAL PARENTING

Wed, 02 Mar 2022 11:12:07 GMT

INTENTIONAL PARENTING

I once met a guy of marriageable age who was brought to the hospital by his parents because they wanted him to stop smoking Marijuana as it had affected him a lot mentally.

His parents had tried what looked like every means to get him to live a normal life, all of which proved abortive! They were frustrated! I remember the father telling me with so much pain that he wants his son to be off drugs, get a job, get married and have children of his own.

I felt sorry for him, he wanted a quick fix, which is unrealistic. I felt like asking the parents, “What were you doing and where were you when your son started smoking Marijuana at the age of 13?”

Parents, we have a window in our children’s lives to discipline, train and influence them positively. Once that window is gone, it is GONE!

If you succeed in making a good living but fail to teach your children how to live ‘right’, your success will be empty, and you’ll end up living with regrets. May that not be your portion in Jesus name.

Be intentional about being present physically, emotionally, spiritually and not just financially for your children.

I hope this helps someone?

May God help us in Jesus name ��

#IntentionalParenting

GET ON YOUR KNEES

Sun, 27 Feb 2022 23:42:12 GMT

GET ON YOUR KNEES

Earlier in my marriage I used to think I could win my husband over through arguments but it never used to end well. It was very frustrating when trying to make him go my way.

However, when I realised that my real power was not in winning an argument, it was in the Secret Place on my knees; our marriage improved significantly.

Ladies, let me tell you a secret. If you want your husband to change his mind about something or you want him to agree to something or there’s a third party in your marriage that needs to go… Get on your knees!

Yes, you fight and win your battles in prayer not by nagging. You’ll be surprised how things would change.

Making prayer a habit reveals you to you, it helps you change, brings you peace, boosts your confidence in God and strengthens you. You would realise that even the words that would come from your mouth to your husband would be full of so much wisdom and humility. The spirit of God inside you will not let you get angry easily like before.

Prayer is a powerful weapon! Make it a habit to pray for yourself, your husband and your marriage daily.

Single ladies, it is not too early to begin to make declarations into your future marriage. Make prayer and intimacy with God a habit from now and you would be glad you did!

Share this with someone today.

Lots of love,

Dudushewa ❤️

YOU CANNOT WIN BY NAGGING

Tue, 15 Feb 2022 00:30:14 GMT

YOU CANNOT WIN BY NAGGING

Earlier in my marriage I used to think I could win my husband over through arguments but it never used to end well. It was very frustrating when trying to make him go my way.

However, when I realised that my real power was not in winning an argument, it was in the Secret Place on my knees; our marriage improved significantly.

Yes, you fight and win your battles in prayer not by nagging. You’ll be surprised how things would change.

Prayer is a powerful weapon! Make it a habit to pray for yourself, your husband and your marriage daily.

Single ladies, it is not too early to begin to make declarations into your future marriage. Make prayer and intimacy with God a habit from now and you would be glad you did!

Lots of love,

Dudushewa ❤️

THREE WRONG EXPECTATIONS TO HAVE AS A SINGLE LADY

Wed, 09 Feb 2022 13:54:23 GMT

THREE WRONG EXPECTATIONS TO HAVE AS A SINGLE LADY

Three wrong expectations to have as a Single Lady:

1. That your future husband will meet all your needs!

Some ladies will even target marrying rich men with the hope that he will meet all their needs. Work hard, be industrious and you would not need to depend on any man to meet your financial needs! Any man that comes across you will see you as an asset and not a liability.

No man can meet all your needs, only God!

2. That you will change him in marriage:

You’re dating him and you know that you can’t live with a particular behaviour of his but you tell yourself that you will change him in marriage!

If his parents couldn’t change him after decades and he couldn’t change himself, what makes you think that you can change him? You cannot change anyone!

If you go into marriage with this expectation, you may regret it.

3. That he would make you happy:

No man owes you your happiness; know this and know peace. The key to your happiness is in your hands! If you aren’t yet happy, make sure you are happy before you get into marriage. Don’t put the responsibility of your happiness on your husband. No matter what he does or doesn’t do, never tie your happiness to him else, you may end up being miserable as he may not live to your expectation.

I hope this helps someone?

Let me know.

Lots of love

Dudushewa

MARRY YOUR FRIEND

Mon, 07 Feb 2022 15:25:44 GMT

MARRY YOUR FRIEND

Marry your friend!

Before my husband and I got into a relationship, we were very good friends.

Others go into the relationship pretending to be who they are not and show their true colours in marriage which becomes a disaster.

Don’t fall into this trap!

Develop friendship first before getting into a relationship. Through this, you both would discover each other’s values and true character without any pressure or need to impress each other.

Friendship is one of the key ingredients for an enjoyable marriage!

I hope this helps someone?

Lots of love

Dudushewa

MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE WORK

Wed, 02 Feb 2022 13:36:37 GMT

MAKE IT WORK

Marriage is difficult!

With the very high rate of divorce in our world today, many people are of the opinion that marriage is very difficult. In fact, some people will tell you that marriage is hard.

As a result of this, many singles are scared of going into marriage and if they do, they are worried about it working out.

See, marriage is not difficult. Why would God create something hard or something that is bound to fail? Everything God made is beautiful!

The reason why marriage seems hard is because of the hardness of hearts of the couple involved.

Marriage is not hard. Choose right by choosing someone who values what you value. Once you make your decision, stay committed to your spouse by choosing to work on yourself and your marriage.

Marriage is beautiful, make it work!

Lots of love

Dudushewa

CHECK FOR RESPONSIBILITY LEVEL

Mon, 31 Jan 2022 11:41:19 GMT

CHECK FOR RESPONSIBILITY LEVEL

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YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED IN 2022?

Thu, 27 Jan 2022 15:25:02 GMT

YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED IN 2022?

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BE INTENTIONAL

Mon, 24 Jan 2022 13:14:21 GMT

PARENTS, BE INTENTIONAL

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HUGE RED FLAG

Tue, 18 Jan 2022 15:46:28 GMT

HUGE RED FLAG

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PROPOSAL AND MARRIAGE

Mon, 17 Jan 2022 16:32:25 GMT

PROPOSAL AND MARRIAGE

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4 A's TO MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE WORK

Wed, 12 Jan 2022 23:18:36 GMT

4 A's TO MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE WORK

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5 NEW YEAR GOALS FOR YOUR FAMILY

Mon, 10 Jan 2022 01:59:05 GMT

5 NEW YEAR GOALS FOR YOUR FAMILY

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5 MENTAL HEALTH GOALS FOR 2022

Wed, 05 Jan 2022 21:19:50 GMT

5 MENTAL HEALTH GOALS FOR 2022

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10 PHYSICAL HEALTH GOALS FOR 2022

Mon, 03 Jan 2022 22:05:07 GMT

10 PHYSICAL HEALTH GOALS FOR 2022

10 PHYSICAL HEALTH GOALS FOR 2022!

1. To see your doctor for a routine medical check up if you haven’t done so in the last two years.

2. To avoid eating late dinners. Ideally eat before 7pm.

3. To stop/reduce the quantity of caffeine, alcohol and other substances that you may be addicted to.

4. To reduce your consumption of junk food. If you take it everyday, you can start making it only six days a week instead until you finally get rid of them.

5. To avoid self-medicating as much as possible.

6. To finish your course of antibiotics or any other prescription you are given by your doctor. I know many of us are on this table .

7. To take time to sleep for at least 6 hours daily. Your body needs this.

8. To be intentional about drinking 6-8 glasses of water or about 2 litres daily. Getting a water bottle may help you keep on too of this.

9. To spend at least 20 minutes exercising daily - it could just be as simple as going for a walk.

10. To achieve/maintain a healthy weight this year. A BMI of between 19-25 is ideal. A waist circumference of 37 inches and 32 inches for men and women respectively.

I hope this helps someone!

Don’t forget to share with a friend.

May God grant us all good health this year.

Lots of love,

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

MY PASTOR SAID...

Wed, 15 Dec 2021 13:10:53 GMT

MY PASTOR SAID...

At a Relationship mentorship meeting today, we were able to discuss and answer questions like: when is the right time to propose, how long to wait before you say yes, what dating is, if you can date multiple people at the same time etc.

However, one question I found interesting was - what to do if you and your partner are convinced that God has spoken to you about getting married but the pastor said that God told him that they shouldn’t get married, what do you do?

My counsel to singles is:

Don’t get married to someone just because a man of God said so; don’t break your purposeful relationship just because a man of God said so.

Get married to that person because God said so and you are confident of your conviction!

This is why your ability to hear from God is critical because it would be challenged!

Be sure that you have truly heard from God and you both are not deceiving yourselves.

God is not an author of confusion.

Men of God are human to start with and are not above mistakes, they are not perfect. They would not be in your marriage with you; it is going to be you and your spouse and God!

Don’t be forced to get married to someone/ break your relationship just because of pressure, even from parents! If you do, it could end in premium tears later in life!

Be confident of your conviction and trust God for wisdom to go through that phase.

I hope this helps someone?

Lots of Love

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

Mon, 13 Dec 2021 14:07:39 GMT

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

A lot of times in my marriage I struggled with admitting and accepting my wrong and would blame hubby instead for why I did what I did. He would be so upset as a result and I would be upset that he is upset without apologising! Lol!

This reminds me of Adam’s reply to God after he had sinned. Instead of apologising, he blamed the woman and he blamed God too “…The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” Genesis 3:12 NIV

Sometimes I imagine what the world could have been like if only Adam had taken responsibility for his actions and apologised to God. May be God would have had mercy and our world would have been heavenly?

Anyway, this is what happens in many marriages today. The inability to take responsibility for faults and weaknesses and playing the blame game has led many to divorce and others are headed in that direction already, sadly.

I tell couples who I counsel, “no matter how bad your marriage seems to be, if you both can take responsibility for your wrong actions and be willing to make a change, you can bounce back!”

Are you willing to take responsibility?

The choice is yours

Lots of Love,

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

VALUE

Wed, 08 Dec 2021 12:12:46 GMT

VALUE

Dear Ladies,

What do you value?

Once upon a time, a single lady who was an upcoming gospel artiste sent me a message complaining bitterly about her fiancé. He had never attended any of her rehearsals or ministrations, he was always busy!

Despite her complaints to him, he didn’t change, he didn’t show any interest in her ministry; instead, he gave one excuse or the other.

She wanted counsel about what to do with him. I told her, that’s already a red flag!

See, when you are in a relationship, and you are already feeling uneasy and unhappy; nagging and nagging about a particular thing that you can’t seem to do without, yet no change, no remorse. That’s a red flag!

Some people would say let me hear what God is saying…

Sister, what else do you want to see or hear? God has given you common sense, use it well!

Unless you can live with that habit you detest for the rest of your life, then go ahead. But if you can’t, then you don’t want to be miserable all your life!

Marriage does not change anyone; it reveals who people truly are!

Marry on purpose for your purpose!

Marry a man who values what you value!

I hope this helps someone?

Lots of love

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

DARK-SKINNED LADY

Mon, 06 Dec 2021 12:11:09 GMT

DARK-SKINNED LADY

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THE HONEST TRUTH

Wed, 01 Dec 2021 16:47:56 GMT

THE HONEST TRUTH

Recently, I was speaking to one of my very good friends who works in a multinational company.

I called him about 9pm in the country he resides, he told me that he was in a meeting at work!

I was like which work? Don’t you have a closing time? He said he doesn’t. I said that’s not possible. He works round the clock and fixed the meeting!

This guy is a big boss where he is and works from home. He tells me that he has a lot of projects he is working on that’s why. I ask about his wife, he tells me that she’s even come to check on him twice already to ask “how far?”

Then I got upset with him. I know he loves his job; he is a workaholic! However, I told him, sacrificing your family time for work is a bad idea!

————————-

Can I tell you a very honest truth? No matter how important you are at that job you love, if you collapse today and die, the company will find someone else who may even be better than you to replace you immediately!

Why would you lock yourself up all day because of work and deny your family the quality time needed with you?

These family members are the ones that love you not your employer! Don’t take them for granted!

Singles, there’s no point getting married if you’re a workaholic, just remain in love with your job! It’s hard when your spouse has to compete with your job just to have you! That spouse will be miserable especially if quality time is their love language!

If you’re married and your spouse is complaining about the time you give to work, it’s important that you listen and find a balance.

May God grant us understanding

I hope this helps someone?

God bless you

-Dr Blessing Ekundayo

JUST BEFORE YOU SAY 'I DO'

Mon, 29 Nov 2021 12:50:35 GMT

JUST BEFORE YOU SAY 'I DO'

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MY HUSBAND SURPRISED ME

Wed, 24 Nov 2021 13:45:14 GMT

MY HUSBAND SURPRISED ME

Recently, my husband surprised me with a mini honeymoon!

He had arranged to take me to a major tourist city in New Zealand! Not only that, he had organised some exhilarating activities for us to do together! No kids! Just us! We felt like newlyweds.

I was full of so much joy, very pleased with him. Which wife wouldn’t be?

However, this was actually our first Honey moon since we got married! You see, we didn’t have much at all when we were getting married.

I was not working; he was earning very little. In fact, we had a lot of misunderstandings when we were planning our wedding because he could not make my dream wedding happen and I was very upset.

I had imagined a fantasy wedding with my 7 -tier cake in a fountain. I also had my Honeymoon destination to Dubai but it never came to pass because we could not afford it.

My husband would say “If we spend all our money on your dream wedding, we would come go to New Zealand and drink garri while paying debts too”.

I had to choose my battles wisely and settled for an affordable wedding. Although, he promised to make our 10th anniversary glamorous. It’s not even 10 years yet that he did this.

Why have I shared this?

1. Don’t stress too much about your dream wedding if you can’t afford it.

2. A successful marriage is more important than a successful wedding.

3. Don’t start your marriage with debts. It would put a lot of strain on both of you.

4. Don’t compare your partner, relationship or marriage with others. Comparing steals your joy.

5. Don’t lose a great guy because you of his current financial state. Tomorrow would be better.

I hope this inspires someone?

God bless you.

-Dr Blessing Ekundayo

MARRIAGE IS WORK!

Mon, 22 Nov 2021 14:35:57 GMT

MARRIAGE IS WORK

Marriage is WORK and it only WORKS when you WORK at it!

Don’t put church first, put your marriage first!

Don’t put children first, put your marriage first!

Don’t put your job first, put your marriage first!

Don’t put parents first, put your marriage first!

Don’t put friends first, put your marriage first!

Don’t take each other for granted!

Only your relationship with God must come before your marriage.

Make each other priority and see how your marriage will blossom.

Work on your marriage

God bless you.

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

DEAR SINGLE LADY

Sat, 20 Nov 2021 14:21:06 GMT

DEAR SINGLE LADY

Dear Single lady,

Stop looking for a fine guy, look for a faithful guy.

Stop looking for a rich guy, look for a respectful guy.

Stop looking for a sexy guy, look for a serious guy.

Stop looking for tall guy, look for a trustworthy guy.

Stop looking for a romantic guy, look for a responsible guy.

Stop looking for a 'cool guy', look for a child of God!

Yes, I know you want a dashing guy who is able to pay your bills! Who doesn't?

However, when you eventually get married, you would realize that your wants would not matter much to you like your need.

What you really need is a man who you can trust, who would respect you, value you, and be faithful to you no matter what. A man that would give you peace and worship the ground you work on!

Focus more on the things that count when choosing 'The One'.

You'll be glad you did.

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

BE TRUTHFUL

Mon, 15 Nov 2021 15:55:02 GMT

BE TRUTHFUL

Sometime ago, a young lady had come in with lower abdominal pain and some issues with her period. She was seen by a male gynaecologist who had asked her if she had any abnormal vaginal discharge and she said no.

However, when it was time to examine her, what we call a pelvic examination, we realised she had a lot of discharge from down below which was foul smelling.

When asked why she told a lie to the doctor, she said she was shy.

See, there are three people you must never lie to when you are in trouble because they could save your life – Your lawyer, your pastor and your doctor! No matter who you lie to about your medical condition, don’t ever lie to your doctor! Be completely truthful and say things the way they are.

I understand that for ladies, we could become quite uncomfortable with male doctors especially when it comes to the private areas of our bodies but if you cannot have a female doctor see you, then by all means be honest with the male doctor, else, there’s no point! You would just end up wasting your time and his.

Doctors are not magicians; a lot of our diagnoses is based on what you tell us and what we find out through examination and investigations. But when your story is not matching up with the tests, then you put yourself at risk of mismanagement.

Thankfully the doctor that saw this lady was able to reach a meaningful diagnosis and she got treated properly.

Tell your doctor the whole truth and nothing but the truth. No point feeling guilty or shy.

We are there to help you, care for you and not to judge you .

I hope this helps someone?

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

DEAR 'MRS'

Thu, 11 Nov 2021 11:26:03 GMT

DEAR 'MRS'

Dear Mrs Somebody,

If we remove "Mrs" from your name, what's left is who you really are.

Please, stop living in your husband's shadows. God has a unique purpose for your life. While you help him to achieve his, ensure you don't ignore yours. Don't be shy to let your light shine.

The essence of the Kingdom Marriage is that you both fulfil your individual and joint purposes to God's glory.

NB - Do not compete but complement each other!

It is time for you to start shinning!!!

Lots of love,

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

BE YOU! ENJOY YOU!

Wed, 03 Nov 2021 15:16:39 GMT

BE YOU! ENJOY YOU!

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IF MARRIAGE IS NOT THE GOAL, WHAT'S THE POINT?

Mon, 01 Nov 2021 16:36:29 GMT

IF MARRIAGE IS NOT THE GOAL, WHAT'S THE POINT?

Some time ago, I was speaking at a Youth and Singles Summit and while I spoke, I mentioned that it was very important to have a goal in a relationship.

It is not sensible to waste your time, energy, emotions and money in a relationship headed nowhere! So, I asked my wonderful audience if marriage is not the goal, what’s the point of being in that love relationship?

I got a few answers but the one that got everyone laughing was when someone answered “work experience”

Dear Singles, going into a relationship with someone you know you are not going to marry is a complete waste of your time. Rather, use that time to invest in yourself and become a better person until when you are ready for a serious relationship.

Many people have gone the path of having “work experience”, moving from one partner to another and have ended up in severe emotional break-down, some have ended up with all sorts of sexually transmitted diseases including HIV/AIDS, others with unwanted pregnancies, depression, suicidal thoughts, while many have had their dreams shattered and lives battered!

Stop hopping from person to person! Let God guide you when you are ready for a serious relationship. Stop playing games with your heart and others'.

Quit the trial and error! Such “work experience” does not guarantee a successful marriage, in fact, it could have terrible consequences when you eventually do get married.

Do you agree?

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

DEFINE THAT RELATIONSHIP

Wed, 27 Oct 2021 17:52:10 GMT

DEFINE THAT RELATIONSHIP

Define that relationship

It is very important that the purpose of your close relationship with the opposite sex is very clear.

Guys, state your intention from the onset! There's nothing like let's see how it goes...

What are you seeing? Ehn?

Ladies, if a guy is not interested in marriage and just wants to hang around you, don't be shy about letting him know you are interested in marriage.

Yes! It is your life o and you're in charge!

Let him know you don't have time to waste.

If he is not interested in marriage, he should wakapass!

This does not make you look desperate at all , it just tells the guy that you know what you want and saves you from unnecessary heart breaks if he is not ready for marriage.

How can you have been together for like two years and you don't really know if he'll marry you. What???

Don't you know that anyone who you spend your time with is spending a portion of your life that you can never get back?

Don't let anyone waste your life.

While you're busy thinking you're a great pair, you'll be shocked he/she thinks you're just "good friends".

Please, define that relationship

Regards

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

ARE YOU BOTH ALWAYS AT LOGGERHEADS?

Mon, 25 Oct 2021 23:55:43 GMT

ARE YOU BOTH ALWAYS AT LOGGERHEADS?

About two years ago on my Ask Dudushewa series, a lady told me that she was to get married to a guy in a few months but they just didn’t seem to agree on almost anything.

She was fed up and "drained", in her words and asked what to do. I replied her message by counselling her against taking such a step as that was a red flag! I didn’t hear anything back from her after my reply. Others who commented on the post advised her against the wedding.

She recently got back to me and told me that she got married to the guy and the marriage packed up after one year sadly.

I felt really sorry to hear it but at the same time, I was not surprised the marriage packed up. My shock was why she went ahead despite all the warnings and red flags.

Dear singles, if you're in a relationship and you're constantly at logger heads, having headache regularly because of that person; that's all the litmus test that you need that that marriage will hit the rocks. That's the sign from God that you have been waiting for. You don't need any prophecy.

God is the author of peace. Once you lose your peace, it's a sign God's presence is not in it. Let the peace of God be your compass in your relationship and you will never get it wrong.

MARRIAGE IS NOT A DO OR DIE AFFAIR.

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

LOOK BEYOND YOUR PHYSICAL DESIRES

Thu, 21 Oct 2021 18:30:10 GMT

LOOK BEYOND YOUR PHYSICAL DESIRES

He has a bow leg

He is too tall

He is bald

His dentition is bad

He is too skinny

He has body odour

He is not funny

He is too spiritual

He does not have a car

he is not rich

He is.... the list is endless!

Dear single lady,

When you meet a man, who is God’s will for your life, don’t turn him down because of some flimsy reasons like some of the above as you could regret it for life and it could cost you your future.

Yes, I know it is important to find Mr Right attractive, however, it is also wisdom not to forfeit raw gold for charcoal just because of the pain and sacrifice you would have to go through to get the gold shinning.

See, God knows exactly what you want and the sort of guy that is best for you but many times when he comes along, he may not really look like it and you are tempted to reject His will for you.

If only you look beyond your own physical desires and submit to His will – develop the friendship, get to know this guy well enough, then you would realize what He has given you is raw gold!

When I met my husband, he was still struggling to finish his Master’s degree, he was working as a waiter in a fast food restaurant, he didn’t have a car, his dentition was not the best , he didn’t have straight legs, he wasn’t as tall as I wanted my dream guy to be but there were things that I found more attractive than all of the other things I desired.

He feared God, he was purpose driven, he respected my values and loved me dearly . These things mattered the most to me and gave me an assurance that the future would be bright; although I knew at the back of my mind that it would take some time but I was willing to let God have His way as I didn’t want to miss His will for my life.

We are not there yet, even though he has bought me three cars already but I can assure you that to God’s glory I did not miss it!

Dear sister, all that glitters is not gold!

Don’t be all after a man who has made it but isn’t God’s will for your life. Sometimes, you might have to build together to make it, which might not be easy, rest assured that things will definitely get better as you keep working in His way.

Focus on God’s will, focus on pleasing him, He does not disappoint, He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all that you could ever ask or think! He desires the best for you.

Don’t despise that young man who loves you and you know is God’s will for you but you resist because of some attributes that can be overlooked.

God bless you!

10 TIPS FOR A SUCCESSFUL LONG- DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

Sun, 17 Oct 2021 23:15:46 GMT

10 TIPS FOR A SUCCESSFUL LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

10 Tips for a Successful Long-Distance Relationship

As some of you know, I met my husband online. Ours was a very long-distance relationship and by God’s grace we had a successful courtship. We have been married for close to 8 years now to the glory of God.

So, I thought to share some tips that helped us during our long-distance courtship, hopefully it can be of help to you.

1. Keep God at the centre of your relationship:

Even though you both can’t go to church together; you can still share God’s word and pray together regularly. In fact, hubby and I had a day set aside for fasting and praying every week! We would pray concerning our future marriage, our children, our goals, our lives. We knew without His help; we would not make it through.

2. Communicate regularly:

3. Prioritize your relationship:

4. Maximise technology:

5. Listen with your head and your heart!

6. Keep in touch with your partner’s family:

You cannot be in a secret long distant relationship! Know his/her parents, siblings and close friends. Speak with them often and visit them if possible. Ask to speak to his/her friends, roommates, church members, pastor and pastor’s wife or leaders in his/her church. This is for your own security, it makes your partner more committed to the relationship, and it makes you known in his/her circle of friends and family. Again, don’t be in a secret relationship for your own good!

7. You can be romantic in a long distant relationship!

Hubby and I used to send each other gifts across the oceans! It used to take about 6 weeks for my gift to be delivered but I would send him just in time for his birthday, valentine and Christmas every single year! Same with him, we surprised each other with gifts too sometimes. I remember a Valentine’s Day hubby planned a surprise with a gift company and got all sorts delivered to my room in med school! Oh! I would never forget! Even though he was absent, it felt as if he was present! Spark up your long distant relationship!

8. Visiting as often as possible is advised:

9. Trust is very vital:

10. Plan your future together:

I pray that you get it right in your relationship in Jesus name.

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

YOUR FRIENDS MATTER

Wed, 13 Oct 2021 14:37:15 GMT

YOUR FRIENDS MATTER

What sort of friends do you have?

When I was in the university, I had a best friend, wherever you find her, you're likely to find me and vice versa. We were both engaged to be married and we did not take this for granted.

We started praying for our future together as friends.

Every Wednesday, we would take time to fast and pray together - for our finances, our future marriages, our future children, for success in our relationships, our future and lots more! We challenged and encouraged each other when things were tough in our relationships.

She was a covenant friend and still is. She influenced me positively in the area of relationship. Today, we are enjoying the fruits of our prayers and friendship to the glory of God.

Dear singles, choose your friends wisely. You are a reflection of the close relationships that you keep.

Have friends who encourage you to pray or that you can pray together about some important areas of life including... Finding a man/woman after God's heart, the success of your marriage, your unborn children...

Friends who support you, believe in you and are willing to walk the mile with you to see you succeed and fulfill God's purpose for your life.

God bless you.

Dr Blessing Ekundayo

A LESSON ON INTENTIONAL PARENTING

Mon, 16 Nov 2020 01:20:00 GMT

Sometime ago, one of my son’s teachers reported him daily of some disobedient behaviours. He would refuse to remove his hat during prayers (which he used to do), he was reluctant to continue to be a part of the school choir. Although he remained an obedient and amazing kid at home but we observed he had lost his excitement about going to school.

Everytime we asked him why he didn’t do what was required of him at school, he would say “I just don’t want to”. There was no tangible reason, so we would tell him the importance of obeying the school rules and encouraged him to. He would agree to do it but the following day, the teacher would make the same complaint.

I knew this was not normal, I called my son aside one day and told him to tell me everything that was going on in school and why he was suddenly uninterested in complying with the rules and reassured him of my love for him.

To my surprise, he disclosed that he was being bullied at school! We had recently cut his hair about a week prior, it was quite low but this was not new. Apparently, some people at school started calling him some names I wouldn’t mention just because of his new haircut which made him feel less of himself.

Hubby and I spent weeks teaching and encouraging him and helping to restore his self-confidence after disciplinary measures were meted to the kids who were found guilty.

Today, he is confident about who he is and cares less what anyone thinks or says about him. He would even tell us he needs to have a haircut! He is back doing the things he loves doing and is obedient at school.

Why have I shared this story? Spend time with your kids! If we didn’t have time for our kids and they were left in the hands of drivers, maids, uncles and aunties, we probably wouldn’t be aware of the trauma he was going through at school.

When you notice your child’s sudden unpleasant change in behaviour, and you correct without seeing changes, care to know the why behind this new behaviour. Take time to get close if you aren’t, be patient with the child instead of smacking or yelling at the child at those times. Some kids have been bullied, others have been sexually abused by people you trusted and you have no idea!

If we spend close to as much time as we spend on our jobs with our kids, our world would definitely be a better place!

I’m still a learner on this journey called parenting but I hope that someone picks a thing or two from this post!

Please let me know!

Please share to bless lives.

MY WEDDING DAY

Fri, 12 Oct 2018 10:24:00 GMT

The wedding day is a day many ladies fantasize about and I was one of those ladies. Before I met my husband, I even had an idea of the kind of wedding gown that would suit me, I day dreamed about a 7 tier cake, LOL and how glamorous my reception hall would look like. By the time we were engaged, I had started doing some research about the perfect wedding gown for me and the outfit of my bridal party. I looked up different event planners, the sort of wedding rings we would buy, the hair style I would make, the list was endless. I wanted a classy wedding!

We set a date for the wedding, unfortunately, I had just graduated from medical school without a job yet. My overseas husband to-be was to foot the bill and make my dream wedding come true. His income was just enough to cater for us; our parents were not millionaires either. The reality of the situation was that we couldn’t afford the glamorous wedding I had imagined. It was very disappointing to be honest. I remember my to-be husband telling me to choose between having a flamboyant wedding and then having to struggle and wallow in debt after the wedding or cutting our coats according to our cloth and then enjoying after. I chose the latter. It was a difficult choice sincerely, but it was a wise decision.

My Sweetheart was and is very logical and practical. He told me then, even though he had access to credit cards, he wouldn’t want us to run into debt to foot our wedding bill.

I had to cut down on my budget and we ordered only the things we could afford. So grateful to God for sending helpers our way! It was not easy for me but my Darling assured me of a beautiful 10 years anniversary celebration with a blank cheque! Can you imagine waiting for 10 years??? Hahaha… we are almost there J, I can’t wait! Anyway, we had our low budget wedding and I travelled to be with the love of my life for honey moon which we are still enjoying without owing anyone a cent!

Why am I sharing this? Your wedding day will come and go, your marriage is what is more important! If you can afford an extravagant wedding, go for it and make your dream wedding come true. If you cannot afford it, don’t go borrowing, running yourself into unnecessary debt which can put a strain on your marriage. Don’t spend all your savings on your wedding! There is so much more to spend money on after the wedding especially as a new couple.

Invite only the people you can cater for, don’t go over and beyond trying to please people, putting your finances in a mess. Realize that people will attend your wedding reception, feast their eyes on your dazzling decorations, talk about the event for some time and that’s it! You and your spouse will be left to dance to the music thereafter in your marriage. Hopefully it’s a good music you’re left with.

A word they say, is enough for the wise.

To all my friends and fans trusting God for a beautiful wedding, I pray God will bring to pass your heart desires in Jesus name.

Thank you for reading, please feel free to share with others and leave a comment.

SINGLE AND DESPERATE

Tue, 02 Oct 2018 10:14:00 GMT

Many young ladies these days can’t wait to be in a relationship, they feel so lonely, so they try to find a guy to call theirs by all means! In fact, the moment a guy smiles at them and asks for their name and number; they are already so excited and start to imagine all sorts of fantasies with him. Some even begin to flaunt themselves unnecessarily around the guy so that they can be noticed by him. The handsome bloke who is just ready to have fun and enjoy himself without any long term commitment in mind sees this as an opportunity thrown at him and grabs it. They get into a relationship (most times undefined), often sexually involved and when he meets a hotter babe, he moves on.

The lady is left heart broken, she feels ‘used and dumped’.

No, girl! You were not used and dumped, you both used each other! You allowed yourself to be trampled upon and devalued because of your desperation to get into a relationship.

My dear, you cannot afford to continue to allow men take you for granted. You cannot afford to continue to move from one relationship to the next with your emotions in pieces. Stop being so loose! It’s time you began to realize your worth and carry yourself with confidence and dignity. You don’t need a man to confirm your worth or beauty.

I remember even as a teenager till my early 20s, no guy could just have his way with me anyhow! What would I fall for? Was it love? My parents especially my dad would always tell me how beautiful I was, so hearing it from a guy was no big deal! Was it material things? Even though my parents were not rich, they had taught me to be contented with whatever I had. Was it to feel among because my friends were in a relationship? I knew who I was in God; I didn’t let any low self-esteem make me give in to such pressure. I wanted to excel in my academics and focus without the distractions and demands of a relationship, more so, a useless relationship.

Dear single lady, be busy about your purpose (if you don’t know your purpose, now is the time to find it), be busy about your studies, career, the things of God; continue to build and develop yourself. The right man who will love and value you will meet you while you are at it.

When you are so desperate to be in a relationship or get married, you are easily vulnerable to being a prey in the hands of undeserving guys. It is not too late to make amends. You worth more! You deserve more!!

God bless you.

Don’t forget to leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you!!!

Don’t marry that younger guy!!!

Wed, 26 Sep 2018 12:11:00 GMT

I once had this male friend who was so cool. We were both born again and also very fond of each other. He gave me all the green lights but I could not go into a relationship with him because I was older than him. See, I know myself so well. I needed a man I would find easy to look up to and not consider as my younger brother. Even though I had butterflies in my tommy for this guy, I had to face reality and think beyond the emotions I was having. For me, age is not just a number, it is one of the important factors (values, backgrounds, vision, purpose, walk with God, amongst others) to consider when choosing who to marry.

Getting married to a younger guy comes with its unique challenges, and ladies who decide to do so must carefully consider these before plunging into such a relationship. One of the challenges is respect. Even where you were younger than the man, it is still a challenge, how much more when you are older than your husband! God commands the wife to submit to her husband (Eph. 5: 22). Submission denotes accepting his rule or authority over you. If you are going to marry a younger man, you must be ready to take instructions from him. You cannot afford to consider him as your younger brother or look down on him as one that you have more experience or exposure than (even though you may really do,lol). There will be many times in your marriage when his decision is not in agreement with yours, would you still find it easy to submit, unlike where the man is older? Nothing irritates a man than his wife looking down on him and belittling his role as head. It is easy to say “love is all that matters”. My dear sister, true love does not lie to oneself!

Another challenge of getting married to a much younger man is the fact that when the facial wrinkles begin to appear and the breasts begin to sag, while he is still looking young and fresh; you may begin to live in the fear of losing him to a younger lady. In addition to this, if you both are desirous of having children, when there is delay in achieving pregnancy, the man might feel that the reason for the delay is the age of the woman (which may be true if she is a lot older); and where the man is not spiritually and emotionally mature, infidelity often creeps into such a home.

In many societies, it is generally expected that the husband should be older, as there is the belief that the older the man is, the more mature he would be. Unfortunately, this is not always so. There are men who even though are older are still not mature. They do not know how to treat a woman right, they lack the sense of responsibility, have no drive for life and are not fun to be with. Whereas, you could find that this younger man behaves even more maturely and ticks all the boxes.

The Word of God remains our standard and guide. There is no command in the Bible for a lady to marry an older or a younger man. The fact that Adam was created before Eve could suggest that it is preferable for the woman to be younger than her husband. However, there are also portions of the Scripture where it was lawful for a man to marry his late brother’s wife and bear children through her. This man could be younger than the woman, it didn’t matter.

My point? There is no hard and fast rule. If you decide to marry a man younger than you, realize that it may be more demanding than expected and carefully consider these points and more before walking down the aisle with your younger Prince charming. The choice of who to marry is yours. However, if I am to counsel you, I’d say that the age gap shouldn’t be too wide apart like you being in one generation while he is in another!

Be genuine about the love you have for him and do not marry him just because he is the only available option with intense pressure to be married!!!

God bless you.

Kindly leave a comment and let me know your thoughts. I’d love to read from you.

Thanks for reading.

I love my husband so much but no joint account please…

Sat, 08 Sep 2018 12:15:00 GMT

My husband and I got into marriage with the idea that his money is ours and my money is ours! Yes! This is ideally how God designed marriage to be. However, many financial problems arise in marriage because many people especially women believe that their income is for them alone and not to be shared with their husband. Did you recite that covenant line on your wedding day like I did “….and with all my worldly goods with thee I share from this day forward”. These worldly goods include money!!! Amen, somebody?

Hubby and I had agreed while we were in courtship that we would have a joint account and manage our home through that one account. It sounded so cool. It affords transparency, trust, helps with planning etc. However, it didn’t really work well for us especially for me as I had issues with it months into our marriage.

One of the things I didn’t like about joint account with hubby was that I couldn’t get him a surprise gift without him knowing how much I got it and where I got it from! It shows in the account statement! That’s no longer a surprise, is it? So, I later decided to be withdrawing cash little by little at intervals and save the money towards the buying of the gift! Mehn! That’s so much hard work! lol

Another thing I found challenging about a sole joint account was that it caused unnecessary friction between hubby and I, when I wanted to buy things I considered important for myself and he felt was not priority. I mean, I work hard and even if I didn’t earn so much, I deserve to spoil myself a little. lol. We were not so buoyant financially and he was and still is our financial manager and ensured we spent our money wisely.

Also, sometimes he might want to give someone an amount of money from our joint account which I didn’t think we could afford at the time and I wouldn’t approve of. This may make him unhappy and cause unnecessary arguments. I could go on and on with these issues but we came up with an idea that has been working for us in this regard.

We decided to have individual accounts aside from our joint account. All our income still goes into our joint account. However, we have a particular amount (pocket money) we each get monthly into our personal account. We are able to spend freely from this account. We disclose to each other when we do spend from it. Nothing to hide and we have been enjoying our peace. Amen, somebody?

I just wanted to share this with you all. Kindly let me know your thoughts on this arrangement. Also, please share your own ideas, especially what has worked or still working for you in your home.

Thanks for reading. God bless you.

I married him because the prophet said so!

Sat, 18 Aug 2018 11:20:00 GMT

I MARRIED HIM BECAUSE THE PROPHET SAID SO!

I heard the story of a lady (Miss Y) who was told by a prophet that Mr X was her husband and that she had to get married to him before the end of the year or else she would lose him! This lady gullibly and hurriedly got married to Mr X who was very lackadaisical about life, he was lazy and not motivated at all. He was just a dreamer, desiring the good things of life but not willing to work hard. Miss Y is now married to Mr X but she is very miserable and frustrated in the marriage because of her husband’s attitude to life.

Many people like Miss Y have been misled into wrong marriages and taken words from a so-called “man of God” hook, line and sinker without even checking if the words are in line with God’s will and purpose for their lives, and if the purpose of this person they are being told to marry aligns with theirs! This should not be so!

Dear single brother or sister, when it is time to make a critical decision such as who to spend the rest of your life with, don’t make the decision solely because a prophet said so! You must be able to put that prophecy side by side with God’s word and with what God has spoken to you in the past and now. The Bible says, “In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established” – 2 Corinthians 13:1b. You must learn to hear God for yourself! We live in a world where many people are carrying the title “prophet” and “pastor” claiming that God has spoken this and that when God really hasn’t (1 Kings 13:18).

The Bible admonishes “do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world” (1 John 4:1). Hence, it is pertinent that you hear God for yourself and obey Him! Realize that no man or woman of God will be in that marriage with you for life; you are the one going into it with whoever you have chosen, so you better take your time to seek God’s face and choose right! Don’t be under any undue pressure to marry a person your heart is not at peace with just because a prophet said so.

God can speak to you too! Now is the time to begin to learn to hear God. He is interested in even the smallest detail of your life! Don’t wait till it is time to get married then you start seeking to hear His voice, you would hear so many voices at that time and you will be confused as to which is His.

If you are yet to have a relationship with God, and you would like to, say these words genuinely: “Lord Jesus, I desire to hear your voice. Forgive my sins, I accept you into my life as my Lord and Saviour. Write my name in the book of life. Thank you Lord for saving me. In Jesus name I have prayed, Amen!”
If you have said this prayer, congratulations! You are now born again, please find a Bible believing church so you can learn more about God.

If you are born again but you are yet to hear God speak to you. Spend time studying the Bible and praying. God can speak to you through His Word, through dreams, a still small voice, etc. Remember that whatever you have heard or seen that contradicts God’s word is not God!!!

I pray that you get it right in marriage and you do not miss God’s will for your life.

If you have been blessed by this post, please feel free to share and leave a comment.

Thanks for reading God bless you.

Don’t withhold love

Fri, 03 Aug 2018 13:41:00 GMT

My husband and I attended the funeral service of a young woman some time ago; many people said lovely things about her. The part that struck me the most was when it was time for her husband to give his testimony about her. His words were powerful, they touched me so much tears rolled down my cheeks even though I never knew this woman or met her. The crowd was moved and convinced he really loved his late wife dearly. However, one thought kept coming to my mind, I hope he expressed this depth of love and affection to his wife, I hope she knew how much she meant to him before she died!

Recently, a Facebook friend of mine passed on. I have never met this lady before but we just used to comment on each other’s posts. I was shocked beyond words to see several RIP posts on her wall. I saw so many sweet things written by people about how awesome she was and how she had influenced their lives positively. I said to myself again, I hope they expressed these to her before she left this world.

There was another story of a man who was so ill and needed so much money for treatment. His wife had gone helter-skelter seeking for assistance. Friends gave one reason or the other why they couldn’t offer support financially. Unfortunately, the man passed on! On the day of the burial, she received different envelopes of cash gifts to support his burial. When it was time for her to speak, she said to everyone “If you had given my husband all of this money when he was sick, he would not have died”.

Why am I sharing these? Appreciate those you love, those you admire, and those who mean a lot to you. It is important that you communicate your appreciation to them. Praise them, let them know how much of a blessing they are to you while they are still alive.

If your parents are still alive, shower them with gifts, take excellent care of them. Don’t wait till they die and then begin to spend millions for their burial to show off. Show off now and lavish on them while they are still alive and let them be proud of the son/daughter they have.

Finally, let your spouse know how much of value he/she is to you. When was the last time you genuinely expressed this? Now is the time to write that sweet and touching poem not when they are dead. Do not take your spouse for granted. You may not know how much of a pillar they are in your life until they are gone!

Life is short my friend. Don’t withhold love! God bless you.

Kindly leave a comment and share this post if you have been inspired.

God bless you.

What’s your spouse’s love language?

Tue, 24 Jul 2018 12:30:00 GMT

What was our issue? We were speaking different love languages to each other. My love language was ‘Words of Affirmation’ but he was speaking a different language to me (Acts of service).

These differences are not uncommon in many homes today. We all have an innate desire to be loved by our significant other and each of us has a primary love language. When this language is spoken to us regularly especially by the one we love, our emotional love tank is full but when this is not happening, our love tank becomes empty and friction arises in the marriage. In fact, you may begin to think that you both are not compatible
.
There are 5 love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation:
This includes words of encouragement, compliments, and praises for even the smallest of things. Words are powerful. Life and death are in the power of the tongue (Prov. 18:21). You can either bring out the best in your spouse with your words or crush their ego and self-esteem. Expressions like “I’m so glad I married you”, “You are a great dad to our kids”, “you are an amazing cook”, “you look gorgeous in that dress”, “you will make it” etc. If said regularly can make your spouse’s day! If this is your spouse’s love language, speak it fluently for the health of your marriage.

2. Quality Time:
This is not the same thing as quantity time! This means you are giving your spouse your undivided attention. You are not spending quality time for example if you are both watching a movie and half of the time you are on your phone checking notifications, texting, and receiving calls. A person whose love language is this will feel insulted and not valued! Quality time also includes going for a walk together, talking to each other with the TV and other gadgets off etc.

3. Acts of Service:
This is basically lending a hand to do things for your spouse. Some women for example feel so loved by their husbands when he helps with the house chores, assists with cooking, or with the groceries, etc. A man who does every other thing but this will not tick the right boxes with his wife. If your wife keeps complaining about how much she needs you in this area, don’t ignore and think she is just nagging. See how you can show her some love and fill her love tank by helping her where you are needed.

4. Physical Touch:
This includes holding hands, hugging, kissing and not just sex. If your spouse loves this, don’t fail to touch, don’t be tired of touching. Wrap your arms around his/her waist, stroke, caress, cuddle, tickle, do all sorts of romantic things.

5. Gifts:
If your spouse’s love language is receiving gifts, do your best to frequently give gifts to him or her. It is not the cost of the gift that matters but the thought behind the gift! Don’t miss big life events like birthdays, anniversaries etc. This is a big deal!!! Even beyond these events, from time to time, make it a duty to shower your spouse with gifts. This will help them feel loved and in turn help your marriage blossom.

Wondering what your spouse’s love language is? Ask! Pay attention to what you do that makes them happy. Speak their love language to them and not your love language. Often times, we speak our own love language thinking it’s acceptable to our spouse. Unless you share similar love language(s), this may not be a good idea.

Wondering what yours is? Think about what your spouse fails to do that upsets you; what you’ve been constantly requesting your spouse to do, it could also be the way you express love to your spouse!

A Chinese speaking person cannot have any fruitful communication with a person who understands English language only. Endeavour to learn and speak your spouse’s love language fluently and effectively.

This post was inspired by the book – The 5 Love Languages by Dr Gary Chapmann

I believe this has inspired you. Kindly leave a comment and share this post with others.

God bless you.

Help! Am I a slave?

Sat, 14 Jul 2018 14:02:00 GMT

Gone are the days where the only responsibility of women was to stay at home, clean the house, cook, do the laundry, take care of the kids and their husbands. Sometimes, in some families, the economic situation demands that the woman also works. So many women are working full time like their husband counterpart but are still saddled with the above mentioned responsibilities and perhaps even more while their husbands on the other hand hardly lift a finger – to assist with or do some of the house chores or even lend a hand in the kitchen! This should not be so.

Dear men, one major need of your wife is affection! Showing affection is not expensive at all, it only requires you carrying out very thoughtful actions to let her know how much you love her. There are many ways you can show your wife affection but I will like to focus on being handy in the kitchen! Yes, food is needed daily and has to be prepared. Please, do not abandon your wonderful wife in this department. She needs your help more than you can imagine.

What about with taking care of the kids? Who says a man cannot change diapers? Bathe the kids when he can to ease the woman’s responsibilities? Feed them, rock them to sleep, help the older kids with their homework etc. Bless my husband! I will cherish him all my days! Marriage is a partnership where you give your all (100%:100% not 50%:50%).

Shout out to all the amazing men out there who are so domesticated and pour all their affection on their women. You will not lose your reward. To all the men who are willing to change, your wives will be so grateful. In fact, this affectionate act will bring out the best in her. She would go all the way to also make you happy!

To the single men who are looking forward to getting married so as to be served and not serve, you are not ready for marriage yet. This is a wrong reason to get married.

To all the parents out there, please train your male children to be very useful in the kitchen and other house chores. Their wives and children will bless you for it.

Thanks for reading. I’d love to hear from you. Kindly leave a comment and share this post.

God bless you.

I’m sorry I’m an Idiot!

Sat, 30 Jun 2018 12:19:00 GMT

I had left the house that morning refusing to pray together with my husband as we would usually do. We had a major fight the night before and none of us was ready to apologise. However, on getting to work, I became so uneasy. I couldn’t concentrate. Something was not right.

It wasn’t the first time we would have a quarrel; in fact, we’ve had more than I could count. But this uneasiness, I couldn’t seem to understand. I was pretty sure it was not about the fight, there was something more but I could not figure it out.

I felt the urge to talk to him about this strange feeling so we could pray about it but… I mean, we’re still fighting and I was not ready to apologise. I mean, it takes a lot for me to apologise to him.

I summoned the courage to call him during my lunch break but he didn’t pick up. I then sent him a message to check up on him, to which he didn’t reply. I expected that anyway, my husband would refuse to talk to me for days until I apologised. So, I decided I would apologise that night and we would pray about this strange yet stubborn feeling together.

I got back home that evening still feeling uneasy, I made dinner and put the kids to bed. Just as I was about to relax, I heard my phone ring. On seeing it was my husband calling, I was so happy. I thought to myself, “Maybe he wasn’t that angry after all” thinking he was calling to let me know he was almost home as usual.

“Hello Love” I said as I picked up the call. “Hello, hello, is this John’s wife?” the caller on the other end asked. “Yes”, I replied quickly as I suddenly became really afraid. “Where’s my husband, what happened to my husband?” “He was involved in a ghastly motor accident, we are rushing him now to the General Hospital, please join us there as soon as possible” and the caller hung up. I was perplexed, confused, scared. I could literally feel my heart trying to escape out of my chest. Tears rolling d own my cheeks uncontrollably. Thoughts of horror flooded my mind. I hurriedly carried the kids into the car and zoomed off to the general hospital weeping and praying for my husband not to die!

On getting to the hospital, I heard the news. My worst fear had just happened! My husband of 7 years gave up the ghost before he was brought to the hospital. I almost ran mad! No it is not possible! I wish we didn’t have the fight last night. I wish I had apologised. I wish we had prayed. I wish he picked my calls earlier. I wish I prayed. The source of my strange uneasiness suddenly jumped out at me. My husband was no more!

Dear reader, life is too short to live like Tom and Jerry. Your spouse will offend you; you too will offend your spouse, many times unintentionally. It is so easy to get caught up in the offense and hold grudges. This creates an opportunity for the devil to feast on your marriage. When you have done wrong, swallow your pride and admit your fault by apologising and moving on. If the other person is not willing to apologise, for your sanity and most importantly to make Heaven, let go and move on. Enjoy your marriage, enjoy your spouse, pray together, don’t let misunderstandings linger.

If John and his wife were in good terms that morning, they would have prayed together, maybe just maybe the accident would have been averted.

This reminds me of the recent fire incident that happened in Lagos, Nigeria claiming several lives. Many of whom were returning home from school and work. So many evils are happening all around the world. No one knows tomorrow except God who owns tomorrow. You do not know when you will breathe your last breath. Why don’t you surrender your life to Him who can grant you life after the life here on Earth? Accept Jesus into your life today and let Him give you peace in the midst of this stormy world we live in. If you wish to accept Him into your life, say this prayer genuinely:

Lord Jesus, please forgive me of my sins, I accept you into my life to be my Lord and Saviour, write my name in the Book of Life, and help me to make Heaven my home some day in Jesus name. Amen.
If you have said this prayer, congratulations! You are now born again. Please find a Bible believing church where you can learn more about God and His ways.
God bless you!

I’d love to hear from you. Please leave a comment and share this post.

My husband has not earned my respect!

Tue, 19 Jun 2018 09:06:00 GMT

To respect one’s husband means to hold him in high regard, to honour him, to speak highly of him, to praise him. Respect means different things to different men, so it is important to ask your husband what respect means to him and how he would love to be respected by you. It goes beyond kneeling or saying “Sir”, because you might do all of those and he still doesn’t feel respected by you. For some men, just your act of obedience to what they say shows you respect.

The world we live in today is such that many wives like to battle it out with their husbands and show that they also deserve to be respected. Yes, you deserve to be respected by him, but there is a way to go about it. A wrong attitude may appear to earn you a win outside marriage but not in marriage! God’s word which has not changed remains the standard not what anyone says. In Eph 5:33b “The wife MUST respect her husband” (NLT). “MUST” there doesn’t give conditions for respect. In other words, even when you are unhappy with him, you still respect him! Why? Because God said it! Why? Because he is your HEAD! Why? Because he is your lord! Why? Because it is one major NEED for him! Why? Because this is what true love means to him!

Little wonder why some husbands are attracted to their maids even when her beauty is nowhere compared to the beauty of the madam of the house! The reason is not far fetched; she is super respectful to him and easily meets that need his beloved wife is having difficulty in meeting because she wants to “show him”. I’m surprised when I see how some women worship their pastors but find it so hard to give their husbands even half of that worship, that niceness, that respect, that honour; If only they would accord their husbands similar honour, their marriage will be sweeter. Wives, your husband has more authority over you than your pastor!!! Yes! Your covenant is with your husband and not your pastor!

Single ladies; do not marry a man you know you cannot respect! That is the beginning of the end of the marriage! Once you say “I do” you are saying you allow him to be your head and that means he has authority over you. Wives, do not speak ill of your husband to anyone, when you do, you speak ill of yourself indirectly because you are one!

What if you have a husband who you think does not deserve any respect from you because of his annoying behaviour? Seek Godly counsel; two wrongs do not make a right. Look for one thing to praise him for and you watch how things take a positive turn.

This post does not in any way give husbands the liberty to ill-treat their wives and command respect from them. The Bible enjoins you to love her and handle her delicately not harshly.
My husband doesn’t need to work hard to earn my respect, he has my respect. He deserves my respect, he is the most amazing man on the planet and I will sing his praises irrespective of his weaknesses.

Break the crazy cycle in your marriage today and choose to sing your husband’s praises anyway! Ask him what respect means to him. Begin to respect him the way he desires to be respected by you and not the way you think he should be respected! Got it? The results will amaze you! God bless you and yours!

Thanks for reading. I would love to read from you. Please leave a comment and share this post to bless others also.

Marriage will not make you happy

Fri, 08 Jun 2018 10:47:00 GMT

She is the best thing that ever happened to me

He makes my life complete

I don’t know what I’d ever do without her

I’m nothing without him….

When I was single, I would often hear some couples make some of the statements above and I was always like “awww… I can’t wait to be married!” It made me think that marriage was the ultimate… creating in me a feeling that I was not complete until I got married. I thought marriage would make me happy and fulfilled in life. I was very wrong! Marriage exposed the fact that I was not yet ‘single and whole’- I was just unmarried!!! I relied on my husband for my excitement and happiness and the more I did, the more I got frustrated and frustrated him too because I didn’t realize marriage is like an omelette, it is only as good as the eggs!

These sorts of imaginations coupled with the romantic pictures of happy couples on social media made me get into marriage earlier than I planned! Thank God it was with the right man for me! I write this to enlighten singles out there who have these sorts of fantasies about marriage and are so desperate to get into marriage so as to be happy, complete and fulfilled in life; do not make the same mistake I made!

Marriage will not make you happy! Marriage is not an achievement! You don’t need to be married in order to fulfill God’s purpose for your life. Marriage does not complete you because God already made you complete. He made you unique. He formed you and said you are wonderfully and fearfully made! Begin to see yourself that way. He made you whole. Stop seeking a man or woman to complete you and make you happy, because nobody can. Only God can give that joy that you seek which can overflow into your marriage.

Many people have rushed into marriage, with just anyone, for the change of marital status, with the assumption that they will be happy and fulfilled. As a result, many have been disappointed, frustrated and stuck because they are either married to the wrong person or stuck with the wrong mindset in marriage. They are married and miserable rather than happy and fulfilled. They are enduring marriage rather than enjoying it. Marriage is beyond the pictures you see on social media; it is beyond the romantic ways Harry looks at Megan and smiles. Your marriage is only as good as your singleness! If you are not happy being single, I doubt you will ever be happy if you get married.

Are you still single? Enjoy this phase of your life. Being single does not mean you are disadvantaged. This is a period to get to know yourself, understand yourself, accept yourself, value yourself, love yourself and appreciate yourself so much that you are able to share yourself with that someone God is preparing for you to complement you. This is how to get yourself ready for marriage.

Enjoy your singleness! Maximise your singleness!! Be single and whole!!!
God bless you!!!

Kindly leave a comment and share this post to bless others too.

5 Lessons from my 5 years of marriage

Sat, 26 May 2018 07:05:00 GMT

1. YOU NEED GOD AND HIS WORD TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE A SUCCESS:
This might sound like a cliché. I heard it lots of times even before I got married but it is so true!!! Marriage is God’s idea and to make it work, you need to know Him. “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it” (Ps 127:1a).
God’s word has been our foundation and we have continued to build our marriage upon this. A prayer altar is very essential in any Christian home. It is so easy to become engrossed with work, kids, career etc. that you don’t have time to pray together. We have had to be intentional about it and so we create time to pray and study the Bible with our kids at bed time. This routine has worked for us. Create a plan for your family and be consistent. A couple that prays together stays together!

2. MARRIAGE IS HARD WORK:
There may be fairy tale weddings but there is no fairy tale marriage! A happy and successful marriage requires both husband and wife depositing regularly into each other’s love bank regularly. Happy marriages don’t just happen automatically! You need to frequently speak your spouse’s love language in ways that are meaningful to him/her. It is so easy to relax and stop striving to please the other person once the wedding is over. We made this mistake for a while and realized our love bank was empty which caused lots of friction in our marriage. We are still working consciously to ensure that each other’s love bank is never empty.
Always communicate your needs to your spouse and don’t assume or expect your spouse to know as you might end up being frustrated in the marriage if your needs are not being met.
In addition to the above, marriage comes with a LOT of responsibilities!!!

3. THAT YOU HEARD FROM GOD DOES NOT GUARANTEE A STORM-FREE MARRIAGE!
Seeing couples all lovey-dovey and looking like they do not offend each other at all painted a wrong picture of marriage in my head. I honestly thought my husband could never offend me or get me angry. I had heard from God that he was the one for me, there were confirmations from other sources about him; he was an amazing child of God and to cap it up, we were best friends and still are! I could never imagine us having any issues. I was so wrong!!! We have had our fair share of different storms in our marriage where we thought we had come to the end but God came through for us. We continue to offend each other not intentionally but we also make conscious effort to forgive. I would like to encourage you; storms in marriages do not mean it is time to throw in the towel for a divorce. Get up and pray!!! The devil is against the institution called marriage. Fight for your marriage and watch God calm the storm.

I hope you have been blessed by it. We are a work in progress and are not perfect either but God who is helping us can help you too and grant you joy, peace and harmony in your marriage.

Don’t give up on your marriage just yet, things can get better than you imagine. I pray for God’s peace in every stormy marriage in Jesus name.

You are not forgotten!!!

Sun, 20 May 2018 13:13:00 GMT

Yesterday while I was cleaning the church (this is where I serve), I was praising and worshipping God at the same time, then I started to talk to Him and began pouring out my heart to Him regarding some things in my life. Suddenly, the enemy reminded me of the one major thing I have been trusting God for since the beginning of the year and it dawned on me that it was taking a long time and God was yet to show up in my situation. I thought about this for some seconds and my he art sank! I found myself asking God why?

Then the Holy Spirit quickly reminded me of the Scripture in Is 49:15 “Can a mother forget the infant at her breast, walk away from the baby she bore? But even if mothers forget, I’d never forget you – never!” (MSG). This was absolutely encouraging and I knew it was the devil trying to change my focus from worshipping God, so I ignored him and continued singing and dancing because God is not a liar, I am not forgotten!!! Amen!

See, it is so easy to have your thoughts consumed by the one thing God is yet to do for you that you do not remember the many things He has done for you in times past and you also take for granted the many things He is still doing for you, for example, the fact that you have life, you are able to breathe in oxygen free of charge and not having to pay for it is more than enough to be grateful for because some people are paying for the air they are breathing! His constant protection and deliverance is also amazing!

You may be complaining bitterly about a problem child you have and praying for God to change the heart of that child, on the other hand, someone else is praying seriously to God for the fruit of the womb; while another is praying to be at least married and be like you! You may be trusting God for a life partner, another person is praying for your kind of job! You may be in the university praying to God to graduate successfully, someone else is praying just to gain admission, some even have admission but their single prayer point is financial breakthrough to be able to pay the fees! This is LIFE! Thank God for your season!

Change your focus today by thanking God for all He has done, all He will do because this season will not last forever, don’t let the enemy make you feel sad, oppressed and depressed because of that need in your life. You serve a miracle working God who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all that you can ever ask or think!!! Next time you are reminded of that need in your life, tell the devil, God has not forgotten me! Rejoice instead and see the manifestation of God in your life!

You will testify in Jesus name! Amen.

10 Tips for a successful long distance relationship

Fri, 11 May 2018 10:54:00 GMT

1. Keep God at the centre of your relationship:
Even though you both can’t go to church together, you can still share God’s word and pray together regularly. In fact, hubby and I had a day set aside for fasting and praying every week! We would pray concerning our future marriage, our children, our goals, our lives. We knew without His help, we would not make it through.

2. Communicate regularly:
Call your partner as many times as possible and convenient for you both daily. If the time difference is a lot it could make a huge impact on the relationship. In our case, there was about 11-12 hours difference! Despite this we would talk when I wake up, when he is going to bed, when he wakes up and when I’m going to bed! Lol! We just had to communicate somehow.

3. Prioritize your relationship:
If the other person means a lot to you, the major way you can let him or her know is by spending time with them despite your busy schedule. I was so busy in medical school and my husband was busy with his PhD but we had to create time to invest in our relationship so as to make it work! It won’t work automatically; you need to invest your time!

4. Maximise technology:
Use video calls as often as possible, they give you the feeling of being with your partner. Text back and forth too regularly! Oh, we would chat for hours! Keep in touch! Talk about your visions, your likes, your dislikes, your expectations, your strengths, your weaknesses, your future, talk about everything. Also, using this medium, do things you both enjoy e.g. sing together, review books, movies, play games, etc.

5. Listen with your head and your heart!
If you are going to marry this person, you need to pay attention to everything the person is saying. Ask questions, don’t just gist about irrelevant things. Do the answers match up all the time? Is your partner being sincere with you? If you are in doubt, speak up! You’ve also got to be sure your values and beliefs are compatible.

6. Keep in touch with your partner’s family:
You cannot be in a secret long distant relationship! Know his/her parents, siblings and close friends. Speak with them often and visit them if possible. Ask to speak to his/her friends, roommates, church members, pastor and pastor’s wives or leaders in his/her church. This is for your own security, it makes your partner more committed to the relationship, and it makes you known in his/her circle of friends and family. Again, don’t be in a secret relationship for your own good!

7. You can be romantic in a long distant relationship!
Hubby and I used to send each other gifts across the oceans! It used to take about 6 weeks for my gift to be delivered but I would send him just in time for his birthday, valentine and Christmas every single year! Same with him, we surprised each other with gifts too sometimes. I remember a Valentine’s Day hubby planned a surprise with a gift company and got all sorts delivered to my room in Uni! Oh! I would never forget! Even though he was absent, it felt as if he was present! Spark up your long distant relationship!

8. Visiting as often as possible is advised:
Both of you should plan to do this. It’s always amazing to see the one you love in flesh and blood! It strengthens the relationship. For cross-country long distant relationships, this may not happen as often as you want but cherish whenever you can make it happen.

9. Trust is very vital:
If you don’t trust your partner, it would be difficult to be in that relationship! Hubby and I promised to share everything with each other even our wrongs! We promised we were not going to hide anything from each other and despite the distance, I could tell where he was every single time and same with him. This built trust between us.

10. Plan your future together:
Discuss and decide who will move or where you both are going to settle down. This could be very delicate as it comes with a lot of sacrifice for the person who will be moving but you’ve got to talk about it regularly to be sure it’s what you want in life and you both are on the same page!

I pray that you get it right in your relationship in Jesus name.

Don’t make a permanent decision based on temporary feelings

Sat, 05 May 2018 07:16:00 GMT

Ladies, have you ever fallen in love with someone so much that you become so emotionally attached to the person and you cannot imagine your life without that person even though you know deep within he isn’t the right one for you but you love him anyway?

I feel you sis! See, just before I met my wonderful husband, I was “in love” with this guy, although we were not officially dating but we were best friends. There was almost no conversation I had with those close to me that I won’t mention his name. Our mutual friends know we were so close and to be honest I really liked him because we just understood each other in an amazing way. We could tell what the other person was thinking even through phone conversations, we would complete each other’s sentences… it was a lovely friendship.

I knew deep in my heart that he wasn’t right for me as our friendship got deeper and the feelings grew even more. We shared different spiritual beliefs – I was a Christian and he was not! I started to rationalize saying to myself, “he is a good guy”, “he has most of the qualities I want in a guy”, “God must have brought him my way for a purpose”, “some christian guys are not even this good morally”… The things we say to anyone who cares to listen, just to justify why we do the wrongs we do! God help us!!! Anyway, to cut my long story short, my parents who were very close to me and had an idea where the friendship was headed asked me to end the friendship! How could I break up with a guy that cares so much for me and I care also about him just because we don’t share the same beliefs? It didn’t go down well with me, I was so upset even though I knew what God’s word says “Be not unequally yoked together with an unbeliever”.

After much struggle, I braced myself up to call him one night and explained to him we could no longer continue to be in this “relationship”, one of the most difficult things I’ve done. I cried so much that night during our conversation, he wept too! The days after were so difficult to deal with without him to gist with, I was so tempted to call, sometimes I did, sometimes I texted just to check how he was doing as it was weird living without my best friend. Finally, one day I decided to delete his number and all the messages we had exchanged because they made me miss him even more as they brought back good memories which were sources of temptation; this was the beginning of my healing. Not too long after, God brought my husband along my way who is several times better than my lost best friend.

Dear sister, are you also in love with a guy whom you know deep in your heart both of you are not compatible in spiritual beliefs, in values, in purpose, expectations don’t align, may be you are even being abused; yet, you are scared to break up because of how much you have invested into the relationship, you are scared of being alone, you are scared of what people would say, you are scared of hurting yourself and hurting him, what are you scared of?

If your relationship with that guy contradicts God’s word and His will for your life, then it is not His will for you! End the relationship! Oh it would hurt you definitely but you would be happy you did in the end because God will give you a better person, I am a living testimony to that. Don’t enjoy a temporary romance for a life time of suffering, marriage is no joke. Don’t make a permanent decision based on feelings and butterflies in your tummy. Think again dear, going into such a marriage with a faulty foundation will not stand the test of time. Don’t gamble with your life, obeying God truly pays and gives you the joy and peace in marriage that you desire.

Have you been in a wrong relationship before? How did you deal with it? Please leave a comment to encourage someone. God bless you.

Dress decently not seductively

Sun, 29 Apr 2018 12:20:00 GMT

See ladies, men are drawn by what they see, that’s just how they are wired, while we are drawn by what we hear. So when you wear those seductive clothes, even when you think it doesn’t matter, you attract the wrong attention towards you. You find men asking you out and getting into a relationship and telling you all the sweet romantic things you want to hear with a goal in mind – to have a feel of the ‘advert’ you have put out and satisfy their lustful desires. And contrary to your intention (well, this is hoping you have goodly intentions for dressing that way), they are not wanting a serious relationship with you. Once they are done getting what they want, they leave your heart shattered and broken into pieces. Why? They were attracted to your container not your content!

Dear young lady, please cover up! Dress the way you would like to be addressed. Dress responsibly and not seductively to attract a responsible guy. Your beauty is not in how much skin you are able to expose, your beauty oozes out from who you really are. I am not saying you should wear long sleeves and long skirts or baggy pants 24/7, I am saying you should dress decently not exposing sensual parts of your body for whatever reason. Don’t dress like a harlot, instead dress like a queen expecting her king. Queens do not expose their body yet they remain dignified from generation to generation. Dress to glorify God!

God bless you!

Kindly leave a comment and share your thoughts with me.

If marriage is not the goal, what’s the point?

Sat, 21 Apr 2018 11:36:00 GMT

Dear r eader, going into a relationship with someone you know you are not going to marry is a complete waste of your time. Rather, use that time to invest in yourself and become a better person until when you are ready for a serious relationship. Many people have gone the path of having “work experience”, moving from one partner to another and have ended up in severe emotional break-down, some have ended up with all sorts of sexually transmitted diseases including HIV/AIDS, others with unwanted pregnancies, depression, suicidal thoughts, while many have had their dreams shattered and lives battered!

Stop hopping from person to person! Let God guide you when you are ready for a serious relationship. Stop playing games with your heart and others. Quit the trial and error! Such “work experience” does not guarantee a successful marriage, in fact it could have terrible consequences when you eventually do get married.

Do you have a good attitude?

Thu, 12 Apr 2018 08:59:00 GMT

Years ago, I met this guy. We started talking and before I knew it we became very good friends as he called me regularly. I wasn’t attracted to him and I could not see a relationship happening between us. He was 11 years older than me! Although I sensed he liked me and enjoyed my company. He was a Nigerian and lived in faraway Singapore while I was in Nigeria. A Christian too, and had just finished his Masters. He was ready to settle down while I had just finished my A levels and was seeking university admission. When he told me his intentions and how he liked me, I was very honest with him and told him politely how I wasn’t ready to be married just yet. I explained to him how I appreciated his friendship and advice but the age gap was also a barrier for me (more like a generational gap, lol). I would rather have him as a big brother, so we remained good friends still. Do you know that it was this big brother of mine that introduced me to my husband? Yes! He just told me one day that I was a very good girl and since he couldn’t have me, he would connect me with “his brother”.

Why am I sharing this?

Dear Single Lady, you are beautiful, have an excellent career, you are committed to God and His service but you wonder why you are still single! Even when you get into relationships, you break up as a result of some misunderstandings you couldn’t get past as a result of your attitude. May be now, no guy is even saying hello, let alone ask you out…

Not all guys that come your way would be right for you but you have to keep behaving right to meet and keep Mr Right. Some ladies have a very poor attitude and this reflects when a guy approaches them, especially to the guy they are not interested in or one that is not their type. I know some guys could be annoying with their approach; however, it is important for you to remain polite and not be rude even when you are going to turn down their proposal. Some men are helpers of your destiny and not your husband to be, but if you are too quick to judge and completely shut them out of your life with your bad attitude, you might have yourself to blame.

Examine yourself today!

How is your approach to people generally?

Are you even approachable?

How do you respond when a man who seems genuine with his intentions discloses this to you even when you are not interested in him?

Your friends could be helpful in opening your eyes to some of your faults that are oblivious to you or your blindspot. Ask them for help in this area. The next time a guy comes your way, be nice. He could be your angel, helper of your destiny, or even your future husband! Always have a good attitude!!!

Mothers-in-law!!!

Sat, 07 Apr 2018 06:38:00 GMT

Even though these were just movies, the real life stories I heard of mothers-in-law were even worse! In fact, honestly I started praying at that time for my future mother-in-law to be dead before I met my future husband as I could not imagine having to go through the mother-in-law ordeal mehn!lol. I felt like majority of them were bad if not all, so no point having one.

One day, I decided to share my powerful prayer point with my best friend. She was older and more mature than me. She was a christian too but her love for God and for people was genuine and exceptional, bless her heart. She made me realize the importance of having a good mother-in-law and encouraged me to pray instead that my mother-in-law would love me and take me as her own daughter and not just an in-law. That was a complete change of mindset for me and I started to believe that my mother-in-law would be a different woman. Little did I know that my future mother-in-law was praying the same prayer for her future daughter-in-law! God is amazing!!!

My mother-in-law is the best, sacrificing one year of her life to assist me in taking care of my kids at a critical period in my career. She spoils me silly! I have lost count of the many clothes she has bought for me. I call her my mother-in-love because she is not just an in-law to me, she has become my mother too. I can also confidently call her my friend (oh we gist a lot!) and confidant. Living with her was great. Oh, did I mention that she is an amazing cook! I’ve learnt how to make some nice intercontinental cuisines from her and I’ve shared some of my recipes with her too. I couldn’t have asked for any better, God indeed answers prayers!

Dear single lady, don’t wish your future mother-in-law dead! There are still amazing mothers-in-law out there who would cherish and value their daughters-in-law. Have you started praying about the kind of mother-in-law you would like to have? Or are you focussing only on praying for Mr Right to manifest? Start praying for God to bless you with a loving mother-in-law, you would be glad you did.
Dear married lady, if you have a great mother-in-law, do not take her for granted, let her know how much you appreciate her, such women are not very common. If you have one that is not so great, pray for her, show her love despite her ill-treatment. Yes, love always wins! One day, she would come to know the love of God.

Thanks for reading, kindly leave a comment and share if you have been blessed by this post.

Look for a job before you look for a wife

Fri, 30 Mar 2018 07:11:00 GMT

When my husband and I were thinking of when to fix our wedding date and were so in love that we just couldn’t wait to be together, as far as we were concerned, love was all that mattered and we would make it no matter what. He was looking for a job but none was forthcoming. My parents then insisted we halt our wedding plans and wait for him to get a job. He was quite disappointed at the time to be honest but I trusted my parents’ advice and I knew they wanted the best for us. So, we waited till he got a job and we continued with our plans. Looking back now, we are grateful for that wisdom from our parents. Things were not so smooth at the beginning even with one source of income, I couldn’t get a job as soon as we had imagined, so I wonder how things would have been if he didn’t have a job. Indeed love is blind, marriage opens the blind eyes.

The importance of money in a home cannot be over emphasized. No wonder many spouses have several misunderstandings when it is not enough or when not managed well. Some marriages end in divorce due to irreconcilable differences on finance matters. I posted a status a few days ago saying “Look for a job before you look for a wife” and I was really baffled by how some people thought it was ok for men to get married without having a job! This sincerely beats my imagination. I am not one that likes arguing with people; hence I would like to throw more light on this issue.

The Bible still remains the standard. Many of the Bible heroes were farmers, shepherds, fishermen etc. They had something doing and were able to fend for their homes. When God said “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him (Gen 2:18), it’s important to know what God really meant by that statement. It is noteworthy to realise, at the time, Adam was in God’s presence, he was fulfilling God’s purpose for his life and he was tending the garden God had placed in His care. That was the man that was not good for him to be alone… Any other man – the one that does not know God, not fulfilling purpose and does not have a job – it is good for that man to be alone!!! Being a husband is not just a title, it comes with a lot of responsibilities, one of which includes providing for your home and taking very good care of your wife. A woman should not be saddled with that responsibility at the beginning of marriage. If a man cannot take care of himself, he certainly cannot take care of a woman. Such a man does not need a wife yet, what he needs is a job.

Yes, the husband and his wife are one but they both have different responsibilities for the smooth running of marriage. This does not in any way discourage women from working. The wife should support her husband. In fact her income should be seen as theirs but a woman should not be made to have to work in order to provide for her family because her husband does not have a job. In marriage, if the husband loses his job and the wife has to help in this regard, that’s understandable but the man must be seeking ways to fend for his family as soon as possible.

You can employ yourself by applying your knowledge, skills and experience in many ways while waiting for that white collar job. All you need to do is identify the needs of people and find a way of meeting those needs and making money as a result. This is not theory because I have put it to good use too. This is the same advice for those who get married and lose their jobs. Becoming a husband is not child’s play, it is not a joke, women and children are expensive to maintain and so you should be ready for such a great responsibility. I am not saying you should have millions in your bank account before you get married, or have a massive paying job, all I am saying is ensure that you have the means to put food on the table, pay your bills and take care of your wife before you get married. Experience they say is the best teacher but you can choose to be wise and not have to experience the mistakes others have made. The choice is yours. God bless you!

Thank you for reading. If this post has blessed you, kindly like, share and leave a comment.

He hurt me so deeply, I can’t seem to move on with my life

Sun, 25 Mar 2018 08:58:00 GMT

Some years ago I was engaged to this great guy and was ready to marry him. I loved him with all my heart and he loved me too, or so I thought. We had a great future ahead of us. Our parents were aware of our relationship and our friends could not wait for us to tie the knots. I just finished from the university and got a mouth-watering job offer in a city outside where we lived. The pay was great and the package was irresistible. I mean, it included an official car and an apartment in an enviable location. I felt life was good. Surprisingly, my fiancé failed to see it as an opportunity of a lifetime. He convinced me to turn it down because it would mean us leaving our comfort zone which I agreed to; after all we would soon be married.

One morning, a day I’ll never forget, my to be husband called me to tell me that he was in love with another lady! I have never been so shocked my entire life! Was he crazy? What the hell? Was I dreaming? I couldn’t believe my ears. It felt as if my whole life came crashing down right before my eyes! My dreams were fading and I was in shock. I cursed him. I cursed the day I met him.

To cut my long story short, he is married now with kids and I am still single. I have been hurt so deeply. I can’t seem to trust any other guy. I am so bitter and can’t seem to move on. I really want to love again, I want to get married someday but I can’t seem to let go. I can’t seem to move on. Where do I go from here?

_______________
Have you been through a similar break up or even worse? Maybe for you, picking up the pieces of your life seems an almost impossible task and you feel your life will never be the same again without your lost prince charming.

Listen, heartbreaks often hurt so bad that they suck! I must admit. However, don’t remain stuck with the past and fail to move on with your life. No matter the blow that you have been dealt, you’ve got the power to either continue to let that person control and consume your life or decide to use this as a stepping stone to your amazing life and future.

Ask yourself, where did I go wrong? What did I learn? What could I have done better? Ask God to help you forgive the person, forgive yourself if you need to and determine to move on with your life. He has moved on with his; why not move on with yours? Don’t let the root of bitterness grow any deeper.

When you don’t let go, it is like drinking poison and expecting the person that hurt you to die instead. That is impossible! So stop being bitter, see it as the guy’s loss instead of yours. You’ve still got even more beautiful years ahead but your response to this event will determine whether you will get there or not.

No one has power over your life as much as you do! No one can make you a failure without your consent or approval. Stop repelling other very good suitors with your bitterness. Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. If you are bitter, you will repel great minds and you will continue to set yourself back.

Thank you for reading. If you have been inspired by this post, please like, share and leave a comment. God bless you.

Leave to cleave

Tue, 20 Mar 2018 07:24:00 GMT

Today, many people get married, move out of their parents’ houses and get an apartment for themselves; this to their understanding is the meaning of ‘leaving to cleave’. I believe it is more than that.

If you cannot make a decision in marriage without first seeking the approval of your dad or mum, have you really left?

If you and your spouse have made a decision but you still feel the need for dad or mum to put a seal on it, have you really left?

If at the slightest misunderstanding you have with your spouse, you go running to dad or mum to make a case or judge it, have you really left?

If dad or mum has the final say in your marriage, and have become more or less mini-gods in your home, have you really left?

If you are still getting stipend from Dad or Mum even in your marriage without any apparent financial difficulty, have you really left?

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh – Gen 2:24 (ESV)

You cannot have a happy home if one spouse keeps feeling that they are married to the other person’s parents since they call the shots in the home. I wonder which is worse, whether being a daddy’s girl and making your husband feel he isn’t man enough to lead you or being a mummy’s boy and making your wife feel she is in a competition with another woman! I reckon both are equally bad! No one deserves to feel miserable by the other spouse in marriage. Hence, it is your responsibility as a spouse to LEAVE your parents and hold fast to your spouse as though your life depends on it.

Leaving your parents does not mean abandoning them or disrespecting them or dishonoring them, God forbid! It means recognizing that you and your spouse have formed a new family unit which you have to guard from external influences, a union where your sole desire is to please God and your wife/husband. I believe it could be very difficult for parents to leave their kids, hence the reason why God has placed this responsibility on the couple.

Take your stand today in support of your husband/wife; do not let your parents, friends, siblings or anyone for that matter ill-treat your spouse. Do not let your decisions always go through daddy or mummy unless you both agree to that. Be the spouse that will make your husband/wife feel confident, secure and happy!

N.B: If you are still a daddy’s girl or a mummy’s boy, you are not ready for marriage yet and if you’re already married, you need to leave to cleave!

Thanks for reading. If you have been blessed by this post, kindly share and leave a comment.

God bless you!

My long distance relationship story

Tue, 13 Mar 2018 12:24:00 GMT

Exactly 10 years ago today, I said “yes” to the man of my dreams and we began our relationship officially. It was a weird kind of relationship at that time; weird because I chose to be committed to a man who I had never met in my life, thanks to hi5! (who remembers hi5?). He was in far away Singapore while I was in Nigeria! We had both prayed about it and were convinced this was the path God would have us tread. We had only been best of friends for 6 months, chatting for at least 4 hours daily with several phone calls. He had become a part of my life.

To cut my love story short, we finally got married in May 2013 and God has blessed our union with two energetic and handsome boys. God has indeed been faithful to us. I am glad I submitted my will to His, else I might have missed His will for my life. I am grateful to God for the unusual pathway He used in leading me to the flesh of my flesh. I am grateful to God for strengthening my faith in Him even when the relationship looked bleak. I am grateful to God for blessing me with an amazing, wonderful, purpose driven, God-fearing, handsome and sweet young man as my husband.

If you let God write your love story by following His will, He will make your life beautiful. Choose to obey God in your relationship today!

Thank you for reading. Kindly share this post and leave a comment if you have been inspired. God bless you.

Are you a lady of value?

Fri, 09 Mar 2018 04:23:00 GMT

Mr Right must have a car
He must have a good job
He must have a house
He must be able to take me overseas for holidays
He must be able to provide me with the good things of life
He must be romantic
He must …

Can you cook? Are you able to keep your home neat and tidy? Are you industrious? Are you able to go all out to create a source of income for yourself even when it appears jobs are so difficult to find? How much investment are you making into your own future? Are you intentional about your life – do you read books? Do you attend seminars that will add value to you? How much savings do you have? Are you humble? What’s your attitude like?

The Proverbs 31 woman was an amazing asset to her husband and a strong pillar, no wonder he called her blessed. This is the kind of woman you should strive to be.
Have a review of your criteria for Mr Right, put yourself in his shoes and ask yourself; if you were Mr Right, will you marry YOU?

Be a woman of value! Be an asset!! Be an extraordinary helpmeet!!!

Thank you for reading. I’d love to hear from you. Please leave a comment and share this post.

God bless you!

Follow your dream

Sun, 04 Mar 2018 08:34:00 GMT

When I was leaving high school and it was time to decide which course to study in the university, I chose medicine. I had a few friends who wanted to be doctors also but said 7 years was such a long time to study for a course! I was bent on studying medicine even if it would take me 10 years! For me it was a childhood dream, my dad being a doctor also was my mentor and besides I thought it was a lucrati ve job. Those friends of mine settled for a standard 4 year course without considering the prospects and were just concerned about getting a degree from the university. May be if they had someone counsel them at that time, they could have made a better decision

So desperate to get married?

Fri, 02 Mar 2018 05:06:00 GMT

Rachel needed a husband so badly, she was 29 and most of her friends were already married, she appeared to be the only one left out. Everyone kept asking her when she would get married, she had stopped going for weddings because of the embarrassment. Her parents didn’t make her life easier as they kept requesting to see their grandchildren before they die.

One Sunday after church service, Tim, a tall, broad chested, dark and handsome young man with brown eyes walked up to her, it was his first time at church and he had been mesmerized by the song Rachel led the choristers to sing. He couldn’t stop telling her how sonorous her voice was, he told her it was angelic, it was heavenly, it was the best voice he had ever heard and he would love to hear her voice forever! Gbam! Those words meant the world to Rachel. She was grateful and thought to herself she had finally found Mr Right. They soon started dating and he began to ask her for sex, she would resist, he wasn’t pleased with this. He would say things like “I just can’t hold myself when I see you”, “I love you and I will marry you”, “Don’t be frigid, everyone is doing it”. The pressure was getting so much from him and she was too scared to lose him, considering her age, after all Tim liked her.

She finally succumbed to his request and got pregnant! As a result they both agreed to get married quickly for the fear of what people would say if they realized she was pregnant. Soon into the marriage, Rachel realized that her Tim was a completely different person, she found out to her dismay he was having affairs with some other ladies! This was so heartbreaking for her! She wept and kept asking God why He would let such a thing happen to her, after waiting for so long, only to be trapped in marriage with the wrong person!

Dear sister, while this story is fictional, it is a story some people might be able to relate with. There are many lessons to learn but I would like to share a few:

1. A church is like a hospital, you meet all sorts of people there. The fact that you met a guy in church does NOT automatically mean that he is born again! The Bible says that by their fruits you shall know them!
2. Any guy who keeps pressurizing you for sex lacks self-control! Believe it or not, he is an adulterer in the making! The choice still remains yours! If he genuinely loves you, he won’t quit the relationship. He would wait for you.
3. Don’t be so desperate to get married, you are likely to fall into the wrong hands! Watch and pray – fall in love with your eyes open to see the character of the guy and your heart open to hear from God.
4. Premarital sex is still a sin. God’s standards have not changed! Not everyone is having premarital sex. There are people who are choosing to live a pure life and it is not old fashioned! If God could help me, He can help you too. Even if you have found yourself doing it, it is not too late to make a U-turn to God.
5. Dear parent, the pressure the society puts on single ladies is intense! Please don’t add to it. The prayers in your closet and words of encouragement will make your dreams come through.

If you are yet to give your life to Christ, there is no sin too terrible that God cannot forgive. He loves you just the way you are. If you will sincerely say this prayer, He will give you a new nature. Dear Lord, I’m sorry for all my sins, please forgive me. I accept Jesus Christ into my life as my Lord and Saviour. Amen.
If you have said this prayer Congratulations! It’s the best decision you can ever make. Please find a Bible believing church to help you learn more about God.

Thank you for reading. If you have been blessed by this post, please share and leave a comment. God bless you.

Is he the right one for me?

Sun, 25 Feb 2018 05:11:00 GMT

One of the many questions ladies ask is “how do I know if he is the right one for me?” This very important question can be answered by first asking yourself what your purpose in life is.

Don’t sacrifice your God given purpose, vision and dreams all in the quest to become “Mrs Somebody!”

Thank you for reading. If this post has blessed you, kindly share and leave a comment.

God bless you.

You are perfect just the way you are!

Sun, 18 Feb 2018 05:06:00 GMT

My point? Dear young lady, I don’t know what makes you feel inadequate especially in regards to your body, it could be making you feel inferior or feel bad about yourself. May be it’s your weight, your face, your hair, your eyes, your legs, name it! Don’t be weighed down by the design of your creator, He knew exactly what He was doing when He made you and believe me, there is no error with the works of His hands. Don’t waste your time trying to change your skin colour or waste money on cosmetic surgeries many of which have could adverse consequences. Rather, invest in your character, dress gorgeously, be confident, believe in yourself, be proud of yourself, be yourself, love yourself, speak positively to yourself about yourself daily!

There’s a man out there who is looking for YOU, he is in search of all of the specifications you’ve got and he would love you for who you are and all that you are without even seeing those things you consider as faults. I can assure you of that because I have been there!

BE YOU! LOVE YOU!! ENJOY YOU!!! YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!!!!

Thank you for reading. If you have been inspired by this post, kindly share and leave a comment.

God bless you!

We are best friends but he is not saying anything

Thu, 15 Feb 2018 11:48:00 GMT

Dear single lady, you have this very close male friend who has been around you for some years now, he takes you out on dates, you both enjoy each other’s company and spend most of your free times together. Everyone around thinks you both are an item because of the guy’s attention and show of affection, you like him and you have been hoping that one day he would pop your dream question but he hasn’t been forthcoming.

Dear sister, purpose is everything, it is very key in friendship and relationship. Ask your male friend to define the friendship you both share and the purpose. No, I am not asking you to propose to him! Find out where the friendship is headed and his vision for the friendship. You might be surprised he just considers you as a very good friend, enjoys your company a lot and nothing more.

Don’t make assumptions in such close friendships, don’t let any guy leave you in limbo while you wait endlessly and other potential guys think you are taken. Don’t waste your time with someone who is not thinking what you’re thinking. It is important that you both are on the same page to avoid stories that touch the heart.

Thank you for reading. If you have been blessed by this post, please share and leave a comment.

God bless you!

He is God’s will but not really what I wanted

Fri, 09 Feb 2018 13:01:00 GMT

He has a bow leg, he’s got scars on his face, he is bald, his dentition is bad, he is too skinny, he has body odour, he is not funny, he is too spiritual, he does not have a car, he is not rich, he is too hairy…the list is endless!

Dear single lady, when you meet a man who is God’s will for your life, don’t turn him down because of some flimsy reasons like some of the above as you could regret it for life and it could cost you your future. Yes, I know it is important to find Mr Right attractive, however, it is also wisdom not to forfeit raw gold for charcoal just because of the pain and sacrifice you would have to go through to get the gold shinning. See, God knows exactly what you want and the sort of guy that is best for you but many times when he comes along, he may not really look like it and you are tempted to reject His choice but if only you look beyond your own physical desires and submit to His will – develop the friendship, get to know this guy well enough, then you would realize what He has given you is raw gold!

Dear sister, all that glitters is not gold! Don’t be all after a man who has made it but isn’t God’s will for your life. Sometimes, you might have to build together to make it, which might not be easy, be rest assured that things will definitely get better as you keep working in His way. Focus on God’s will, focus on pleasing him, He does not disappoint, He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all that you could ever ask or think! He desires the best for you. Don’t despise that young man who loves you and you know is God’s will for you but you resist because of some attributes that can be overlooked.

Thank you for reading. If you have been blessed by this post, please share and leave a comment.

God bless you!

Valentine’s Day! So What?

Sun, 04 Feb 2018 13:40:00 GMT

My point… Dear young lady, if you get ‘val-ed’ this Valentine’s Day; sweet! If you don’t, it is not the end of the world! Don’t let any man take advantage of you because of some gifts no matter the cost! Don’t do a trade by barter with your body on Valentine’s Day or any other day for that matter. That day will come and go and you would forever live with the consequences of the decision(s) that you made. Determine you will not be swayed by gifts, don’t lose your sanity all because of the craze that comes with Valentine’s Day.

Thanks for reading. Please share or leave a comment if this has blessed you.

Can I marry an unbeliever?

Mon, 29 Jan 2018 04:59:00 GMT

Dear Christian single lady, an unbeliever is a NO NO!!! Marriage is no joke, it’s no child’s play, it is a life-time commitment to a man who can make or mar your life forever! Therefore, the person who you choose to walk this journey with must be someone who shares the same spiritual beliefs as you do (Amos 3:3), someone who has genuinely accepted Jesus Christ into his life as his Lord and Saviour and is walking in the same Light as you are (2 Cor 6:14). Yes, that is the kind of man you should begin to consider as a potential husband, not just a church goer.

See, when you truly understand who you are (Royalty) in Christ, you won’t go for anyone less. If he derives pleasure in drinking, smoking, clubbing etc, do you derive pleasure in these too? Like the saying goes “Love is blind” but guess what? Marriage opens the blind eyes! You don’t want to spend your years in marriage fasting and praying for things you could have avoided if only you went God’s way. His spiritual beliefs is one of the fundamental things you should pay attention to in making a decision to avoid stories that touch the heart in marriage but the choice is yours!

If you are yet to experience the true love of God and would sincerely like to, please say this prayer: Lord Jesus, I thank you for dying for me. I confess my sins and ask that you forgive me. I accept you as my Lord and Saviour. Thank you for saving me. Amen.

If you just said this prayer, it’s the best decision you can make in life. Please find a Bible believing church where you can learn more about God. God bless you!!!

Please share or leave a comment if this has blessed you.

RELATIONSHIP GOD'S WAY

PARENTING IS PARTNERSHIP

PARENTING IS PARTNERSHIP

LOOKING BEYOND THE PRESENT

Looking Beyond The Present

OVERCOMING LOW SELF ESTEEM AND BODY SHAMING

Overcoming Low Self Esteem and Bodyshaming

CONNECT TO CORRECT

Connect to Correct

LEADING BY EXAMPLE

Leading By Example

APPRECIATE THE LITTLE POSITIVES

APPRECIATE THE LITTLE POSITIVES

DON'T IGNORE ANY EVIL PATTERN

Don't Ignore Any Evil Pattern

YOU TOO WOULD SHINE

You Too Would Shine

MARRY A SECURED MAN

Marry A Secured Man

BE INTENTIONAL WITH YOUR KIDS

Be intentional with your kids

BEFORE YOU RELOCATE...

BEFORE YOU RELOCATE

LOVE ALWAYS WINS

LOVE ALWAYS WINS

UNMATCHED PEACE

UNMATCHED PEACE

DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAM

DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAM

LOVE IS INTENTIONAL

LOVE IS INTENTIONAL

WISDOM FOR YOUR MARRIAGE

WISDOM FOR YOUR MARRIAGE

SELF-CARE IS VERY IMPORTANT

SELF CARE IS VERY IMPORTANT

DON'T JUDGE

DON'T JUDGE

LIFE IS IN PHASES, MEN ARE IN SIZES

LIFE IS IN PHASES, MEN ARE IN SIZES

IS MARRIAGE HARD?

IS MARRIAGE HARD?

BE PRESENT FOR YOUR CHILDREN

BE PRESENT FOR YOUR CHILDREN

YOU WILL COME OUT STRONGER

YOU WILL COME OUT STRONGER

DO YOU HAVE PROBLEM WITH SLEEPING?

DO YOU HAVE PROBLEMS WITH SLEEP

BEFORE YOU YELL...

BEFORE YOU YELL...

REST ON GOD'S PROMISES

VALENTINES' DAY IS AROUND THE CORNER

Valentines’ Day is around the corner

LEAVE TO CLEAVE

LEAVE TO CLEAVE

HERE'S HOW TO OVERCOME SLEEP PROBLEMS

HERE'S HOW TO OVERCOME SLEEP PROBLEMS

FIVE MENTAL HEALTH GOALS

FIVE MENTAL HEALTH GOALS

FIVE NEW YEAR GOALS FOR YOUR FAMILY

FIVE NEW YEAR GOALS FOR YOUR FAMILY

10 PHYSICAL HEALTH GOALS FOR 2023.

10 PHYSICAL HEALTH GOALS FOR 2023

DO NOT FALL INTO THIS TRAP

DO NOT FALL INTO THIS TRAP

HOW TO MAKE YOUR LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WORK

HOW TO MAKE YOUR LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WORK

ASK INTELLIGENT QUESTIONS IN COURTSHIP

ASK INTELLIGENT QUESTIONS IN COURTSHIP

READ BOOKS OF VALUE AND LEARN

READ BOOKS OF VALUE AND LEARN

FOR MY PURPOSEFUL SINGLE LADIES

FOR MY PURPOSEFUL SINGLE LADIES

THE NEW YOU

THE NEW YOU

NO ONE IS BETTER THAN YOU

NO ONE IS BETTER THAN YOU

SOME TIPS FOR THE LADIES

SOME TIPS FOR THE LADIES

DON'T GIVE UP

DON'T GIVE UP ﻿

DON'T GIVE UP